Guest Writers

Lunatic Columns, Blogs, Nonsense

We’ve been writing our columns since 1999!

Lunatic Ravings | Spamrider of the Apocalypse | Chick Shit | Crap Considered | Guest Writers | Column Archives

This page features recent samples of each writer.

Why are we obsessed with writing columns/stories that hardly anyone reads?
We don’t know.

But if you enjoy thought provoking opinions or serious literature, then you wandered down the wrong alley.
This is Tic Tok in written form.

What follows may include opinions disguised as facts, facts disguised as jokes, and bad writing disguised as fiction.

This garbage goes back to 1999 and is rarely seated in reality, which makes it timeless.
So pay a visit to the older stuff. It isn’t so much about reading about the world 20 years ago.
It’s more about what a knuckle headed freak of nature was thinkin about way back when.

Click the Archives link for a quarter century’s worth of gibberish that just might put a smile on your face.

Crap Considered

  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 4
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, ’cause, that’s my job… Bob just made it to the exit gate when Hector calls out. “Agent Senitram! I can give you more than…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 3
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, ’cause I got nothin’ else to do… Bob makes his flight to Huston and enters the infamous prison and approaches the first man he…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 2
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob Senitram“Thinking up the nonsense, and then some…” Before we continue on our scheduled programming…HAPPY 250TH BIRTHDAY USA!!!! We now resume regular programming. A few days later, the trainer’s…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 1
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, because nobody asked for this… Looking down at the beautiful woods of Virginia, we see a group of men jogging in matching sweats. As…
  • Back to the USSA?
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, and then some… Last week in my column about the USSA, I was explainin’ why I thing things have gone awry in this once…

Lunatic Ravings

  • The Journey To HR, Part 110!
    by Stephen Johnson
    “Where am I?” Bob asked after he was done with the belching, groaning and flatulence. The HR lady walked over to him and looked down. “IN MY OFFICE!” she declared.…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 109!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Two of the burly men left the room. The rest of us milled around aimlessly, sometimes stepping on Bob’s lifeless body, sometimes not. After a bit, the two burly men…
  • A Small Birthday Break
    by Stephen Johnson
    This country has been around for 250 years. I’ve been alive around 39% of that. I obviously have no life, but have maybe seen some stuff. Like “Scanners”. A head…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 108!
    by Stephen Johnson
    After all the tape was removed, Star Child Two flew around the room, going faster and faster. When it reached top speed, it headed towards Bob’s exposed buttocks. One minute…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 107!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Bob stopped eating the paste and looked at the HR lady in horror. I smiled. “I was doing some further reading and there’s more…..punishment that needs to be done,” the…

Spamrider

  • DO NOT BE ALARMED
    by Spamrider
    DO NOT BE ALARMED There is a seven and 33/42nds dimension beyond that which is known to Science. It is a dimension as vast and timeless as infinity and twice…
  • So I Guess I Can Talk About This Now
    by Spamrider
    [Editor’s Note: I found this weeks Spamrider column in an unopened box of Count Chocula. What I mean is I opened the box and there it was. My wife had…
  • The New Devil’s Dictionary
    by Spamrider
    Assassin (n): The only words with two asses.
  • The Song in Bob’s Head
    by Spamrider
  • Fair Warning
    by Spamrider
    I’ll give you fair warning before you read this column: I am about to get all religious and preach up and down the block and speak in tongues and raise…

Lunatic Column Archives

Visit the archives to discover columns by other writers such as P.S. Gifford, Bel Garion, Melissa Paternick, and Brian Petre. This content has absolutely nothing to do with reality, so it doesn’t really matter when they were published.

You like to jot down stuff just for the fun of it? Feel free to submit a column!