The 2011 Roadtrip: Part 5

Lunatic Ravings!
by Stephen Johnson

Opeth—Heritage

MoTW—Night Of The Demons (2010)

What’s funny is when I asked the desk clerk at the hotel how far Best
Buy was, they made it seem like it was quite the trip: “The closest one
is about 20 MINUTES away!”.

No matter. I had a $5 coupon to use on any movie priced $14.99 or higher
and it expired on this day (7/31 for those keeping score). I wanted to
get “The Blues Brothers” on blu-ray but figured that may as well be a
lost cause since it was Sunday (again, for those keeping score) and it
was sale priced the previous week. Fuck it, if I couldn’t get that, I
wold find someone else.

So off we went on that hellacious 20 minute ride. We found Best Buy with
no problem so I dropped the woman off at a nearby Home Goods and then
headed back to BB.

I did find “The Blues Brothers’ but the price was $19.99. No sales tag
any longer. But, just because I could, I hunted down a sales person at
the store and they checked the website and sure as shit, it was listed
at $14.99. Win one for me!

Then, for some unexplained reason, the sales person started a
conversation with me about blu-rays and took me over to the blu-ray
section and pulled a movie off the shelf while telling me a story about
it. I of course feigned interest and then, when he wouldn’t shut up,
kicked him in the face.

I wandered around the store some more and spotted a bin of $7.99 blu’s,
found some good ones and added them to my stash and then headed to the
checkout lane.

Everything was going good until “The Blues Brothers” rang up for $19.99.
This didn’t make me happy and I told the lovely cashier that it was
supposed to be $14.99 ’cause that’s what it said on the website.

So she called a manager and they checked the website and said it was
$19.99. I told her that, no, we had just checked it on a computer in the
back of the store and that it was $14.99. She said she would check with
the clerk who looked it up and I told her that it was the one with a
bloody face.

Then I waited. For some reason there wasn’t a lot of people wanting to
check out. Actually there were none. Good thing since I had the only
register tied up.

Actually there was a woman who asked how much a bottle of flavored water
was and the lovely cashier told her. The lady then said she needed to
check with her husband to see if she could buy it. What the fuck?
Really?

The cashier and I conversed for a bit, I told her I was on vacation and
had driven from Michigan the previous day and she told me how she and
her boyfriend drove from Alaska(!) to Maryland(?) in a car that cost
them $200 and only broke down once. (Their trip took them about a week,
for those keeping score).

After 20 minutes the manager came back and said it was $14,99 on the
main BB website, the store website was $19.99 but, since the main site
overrules all I was able to get it for the $14.99.

I finally paid and wasted my last coupon, went and picked up the woman
and then headed over to mother’s house.

Everyone but me decided that we needed to go out and find a pineapple
core thingy, or something along those lines. So we all crammed into my
brothers tiny Ford Festiva and headed to a kitchen store and they didn’t
have it.

Then it was decided, without my vote, that we wold head over the the
outlet mall across the street and see if they had one there.

One boring hour later they were done and then it was decided we would
head to Lewes Beach so I could finally see the fucking ocean from
Delaware.

Well, I guess I did. From the parking lot which my brother drove around.
And that was that.

Next it was decided, without my approval, that we check out a tiny town
with “really neat shops”. What it boiled down to was a waste of about 45
minutes. But goodness, everyone else LOVED IT!

More driving around (saw a cannonball embedded in a house) and then a
stop at a store to get some chips and then it was back to mother’s house
where i immediately grabbed a beer and the woman decided she wanted to
drink a few rum and cokes which would absolutely have no impact on her
at all, whatsoever.

Yeah, right.

COMING NEXT: What’s the woman’s favorite phrase after drinking way too
much?#

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