by Stephen Johnson
Yes—Fly From Here
Well, it’s that time of the year again!
Time for us to prepare us for the annual roadtrip.
Time for you to prepare for a couple weeks of me regaling and boring you
with stories from our trip.
But not now. No, that last part come later because we haven’t been on
our trip yet. See how that works?
This year, no New Jersey. Yeah, I know. I’m kind of bummed too.
No, this year it’s Delaware. Why? Well, I’ll tell you why.
See, someone sold the house in NJ and decided that Delaware would be a
good place to move. So, no more childhood home. It’s gone, no longer
owned by someone with the Johnson family name. Now it’s owned by a
doctor. A doctor I don’t know.
We’ve promised the seller that we would visit them in Delaware because
that’s what we got ourselves tangled up in. Someone in this Johnson
household opened their big fucking mouth and, outside of a horrible
death, we have no choice but to go to Delaware.
Funny this is, no matter how hard I think, I just don’t know where the
hell Delaware is. It’s somewhere on the East coast, but that’s all I
know. I guess I could look at a map, but that’s too easy.
Nope, the woman will Mapquest the directions and 12 hours or so after we
leave, I guess we’ll be in Delaware.
I don’t think there’s anything to do in Delaware, so I’ll have to hang
out and drink a lot. That’s the extent of MY plan: hang out and drink.
Like that’s not something I can do here. Guess doing this i Delaware
will give me a new outlook on or something like that.
Would have rather went to Omaha and gotten dumb as well as drunk, but we
all know the story on why that’s no happening.
But I digress….
The plan is to leave next Saturday at 2 am. That’s a good time for us,
especially me since I’ll be doing all the driving in our eco-friendly
car, because that’s when all the bars have closed so I’ll have some fun
dodging the drunks on the road.
Then, as stated above, it’s 12 or so hours on the road and then we’re at
And that’s really it. We’re driving just to hang out at mother’s new
house. No plans. Just hanging out. Sure, we COULD go to Washington D.C.
and check out the sites before they’re blown up by the inevitable alien
attack, but what’s the point? I’ve seen pictures of all that D.C. stuff
in books and movies and that’s good enough for me.
COMING NEXT: Nothing next week for obvious reasons, but after that it’ll
be the trip log. Yay!