The Only Lists That Matter! My Top Ten Movies and Music of 2007

Chris Caffery—Pins and Needles

MoTW—Black X-Mas

I've been doing these lists the last few years and, since nobody reads
'em, I'm going to keep on doing them anyway because I can.

I'm not a movie critic who wets their pants with excitement anytime
Julia Roberts pops up on a screen at the local multiplex. Nope, I'm just
a normal person with serious issues who loves movies and doesn't care if
there's a message to be learned or not. I watch them to be entertained
and the following list are those that entertained me the most.

I went to a movie theater twice this year, the first time for
"Grindhouse" and the second for "Halloween". Everything else I've seen
has been on DVD and what's the point of buying a talky drama when all
you want to do after a day of searching for hookers for your Crackwhore
Village is pop a DVD in and crank up the home theater much to the dismay
of your working "at normal jobs" neighbors?

I don't think there's any message(s) to be learned by any of the movies
on the list (except to maybe always, and I mean ALWAYS protect your man
meat). Don't let that scare you away though, since all the movies on the
list are perfect viewing for the whole family on those rainy/snowy Mon
thru Sun nights.

So here we go!

9) Halloween

8) Azumi (actually came out in '03, but couldn't find the DVD till '07

7) Superbad

6) Hot Fuzz

5) 28 Weeks Later

4) The Bourne Ultimatum

3) Live Free or Die Hard

2) Hostel: Part II

1) Grindhouse

Yep, only nine listed. I couldn't come up with ten no matter how hard I
thought and pondered and thought some more.

I do believe that one of the most over-praised movies of the year was
"Knocked Up". For some reason I wasn't too into it, but Bob thought it
was a "knee slapper, a slap happy poof of slappiness, oh how I do love
them Three Stooges so, but I have a xillion kids and do love them
pregnancy movies so, oh!" Take that for what it's worth.

And then there's music.

That's my passion. That's what's kept me going thru my 90+ years of
life. I can listen to a different CD a day for the next six years and
not repeat the same one twice (do the math yourself you lazy fuck). I
haven't and probably never will do any of that downloading shit because
I want that shiny disc and that booklet. Fuck that Ipod mix crap, I
stopped doing that when I was a wee lad back in the 1800's (again, do
the math you lazy shit) and don't have to do that stupid looking power
walking thing so I can listen to my favorite bucket of watery horse dung
that the white stripes have to offer.

(Did any of that make sense?)

Anyway, below is my list of my personal favorite albums of '07. What
surprised me is #2 because this album took me by surprise because I
basically wrote them off 26 or so years ago.

And here we go again!

11) Sonata Arctica—Unia

10) Symphony X—Paradise Lost

9) Therion—Gothic Kabbalah

8) Megadeth—United Abominations

7) Iced Earth—Framing Armageddon: Something Wicked Part 1

6) Chris Caffery—Pins and Needles

5) Neal Morse—Sola Scriptura

4) Porcupine Tree—Fear of a Blank Planet

3) Lillian Axe—Water Rising

2) Scorpions—Humanity: Hour 1

1) Rush—Snakes & Arrows

Sadly, I did not have a chance to listen to the new albums from Devin
Townsend, The Eagles or Prince so they couldn't make the list, but rest
assured they're sitting here in their shrink wrapped glory waiting for
me to get my withered yet surprisingly spry fingers into their virgin

A few others that didn't make the list but should get an honorable
mention were from Ted Nugent, REO Speedwagon(?), and Within Temptation.
However, since it is a top TEN list (ok, I put in 11 since I
shortchanged the movie list) I had to stick with the rules and rules
can't be broken even though it's MY list and I make up the rules so, as
always, DEAL WITH IT. (For those that care, Bob's favorite album was
"High School Musical 2" because he's a retard)

Oh, might as well do the best concerts of the year:

2) Van Halen

1) TSO

Those the only two I went to and are the only two that mattered. (For
those that want to know, Bob's favorite concert was Hannah Montana. Go

So, another year gone and another list. Go ahead and take a day or two
off and watch those movies listen to those cd's listed and see if you
don't become a better person.

COMING NEXT: Those annual Fearless Predictions?

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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