I Get Sick. Again. It Sucks.

Kings Of The Sun—Full Frontal Attack


I dunno what's going on, but I fear I'm losing my awesome prettiness and

It must be my ancient age catching up to me, starting a couple weeks ago
with that ear thing.

This week was simple: hang around, maybe go trolling around for
crackwhores, but mostly hang around while waiting for Friday and my
appointment to get brand spanking new tires.

Yet on Monday, something decided to throw a wrench in my plans by having
me wake up feeling rather unwell. Rather achy.

It really hit after I took a shower and was tying my shoes. When I bent
over, it felt like a hundred teensy weensy beings were shoving teensy
weensy needles into my leg bones. Bitter, I took off my shoes and went
back to bed.

The next day, the legs were fine. Now my back had those pesky little
being shoving needles into my spine. Back to bed I went.

Wednesday rolled around and I woke up not feeling much pain. So I headed
to the bathroom to take a healthy poo. And, while doing this, the snot
began running from my nose like a waterfall. I felt exactly like
Aqualung, without the greasy fingers and shabby clothes (for those too
young to get that reference, google it or something).

I hopped in the shower to wash the snot off my face, and then the
sneezing/coughing started (snoughs?) and back to bed I went.

Thursday I woke up and had a headache, plugged ears and more snoughing.
Decided that I had already wasted the whole week, I went right back to

Friday I felt much better. Still had a few snoughs but the body pain was
mostly gone. Figuring that the last bought of sleep worked wonders, I
went back to bed and woke up in time to get to the tire store to have my
new tires installed (Installed? Put on? Added?).

When that was done and after I marvelled how much quieter and smoother
the car drove while driving from the tire place to home, I climbed back
into bed.

Today I woke up bright and early so I could get to my Mazda dealership
to get me an oil change. I was still feeling a bit under the weather but
was happy to find out that the woman was coming down with the same bug.
That'll teach her!

I was sitting in the car, loading up a CD for the trip to the dealership
when I inadvertently shut the garage door. Don't know how I did that,
but I clicked the garage door clicker and the garage door opened and I
started off on my merry way.

While backing out, I heard a crack, then something slid across the top
of the car and then slid down the front window. I stopped the car
outside and got out to investigate.

And wouldn't you know it? In my still sick-clouded mind, I had pulled
out of the garage while the garage door was still opening and snapped
the antenna off the top of the car.

Even though bed beckoned me, I went on my journey, got my oil change
and, as luck would have it, a new antenna which they had in stock for
only $45.00. Lucky me.

When I got home, I went back to bed and woke up just to write this. When
done, I'm heading back to bed.

I guess being sick sucks. Or am I just milking this for as long as I

COMING NEXT: I just I get my vitality back. For all our sakes.

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!


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