MoTW—An American Carol
Well, it's a new year and it's that time for me to let our faithful
following know what movies we found to be the best of the past year
(that being 2008 for those not in the know).
This year I managed to leave the house and see a whopping two movies in
the local multi-triplex! Every year I find myself going to the theater
less and less since buying the DVD is cheaper and I can pause it anytime
I want i order to pee, poo, smoke, inject, bathe or whatever.
I checked out a few other top ten lists and found everyone to be fools!
I don't want some artsy-fartsy movie on my list, no sir/ma'am! I want to
be entertained. If I want to watch an artsy-fartsy movie I'll wait for
it to pop up on a movie channel, but it can't compete with a DVD on the
home theater chock full of violence, stupid humor, violence and a
smatter of gratuitous nudity.
And I'm going to try something new this time and add comments to show
what an expert I am in movies and why they're on my list. Or it'll show
what a complete moron I am. No matter, it's my list and it's the only
one that counts!
10) Iron Man–Okay, it was entertaining. Knocked down a few slots
because of Paltrow.
9) Diary of the Dead–It has zombies and it's from George Romero, so
it's got to be good! Toss in "Zombie Strippers" and "Poultrygeist: Night
of the Chicken Dead" and you've got quite the trifecta.
8) Rogue–This came out a year or so ago but finally appeared on DVD
this year so it counts. The same that brought us "Wolf Creek" now brings
us a story about a large, hungry crocodile. Perfect double feature with
7) Rambo–A surprise. "First Blood" was good. The next two absolutely
sucked. Like "Rocky Balboa", Mr. Stallone shows he still has something
left in the tank. And I laughed when someone was blown to shit. Oh, and
there was a message too, but not an artsy-fartsy one.
6) In Bruges–Maybe the closest to an artsy-fartsy movie on this list?
Nah, a little person gets their head blown off. And it's a comedy!
5) Hellboy II: The Golden Army–A visual feast for my eyes. (Hope I
didn't steal that from someone's review)
4) Quantum of Solace–It's James Bond. Any James Bond is worthy of my
list (yes, even "Moonraker").
3) Tropic Thunder–Perfect combo watching: "Apocalypse Now", "Hearts of
Darkness", "Tropic Thunder" and "Rain of Madness".
2) The Dark Knight–I went "whoa" when the car changed into that thingy
thing. It was cool.
1) Doomsday–When I first heard about this movie, I was excited. This
was from the same guy who brought us "Dog Soldiers" and "The Descent" so
it had to be good. Right???? Well, not according to the reviews. Almost
everyone bad, everyone claiming he stole from past movies like "Escape
From New York" and "Mad Max". So I waited for it to come out on DVD and
I found that reviewers are fucking morons. It's a homage people! This
movie rocks. I can watch this movie over and over. It gives me pleasure
Of course this wouldn't be a complete list without Bob's picks as well!
Sadly, as you can see, he doesn't get out much.
4) Beverly Hills Chihuahua–Absolutely stunning!
3) Marley & Me–I would watch any movie with a cast member from
"Friends" even if it co-starred a monkey instead of a dog. What? That's
been done? Where can I get it? It'll be at the top of my 2009 list!
2) High School Musical 3–Zac is stunning.
1) Speed Racer–This was cool. I started watching it and began having
convulsions so severe that I passed out. When I woke up I continued
watching and had another convulsion and passed out again. This kept
happening and boy do I love this movie!
Another movie I must mention is "Stardust". This came out in 2007 and
not a lot of people went to see it. It's a shame, since it's an
incredible movie. Kind of reminds me of "The Princess Bride". I'm
mentioning it since I got the DVD this year and don't want it to go
unnoticed by our 2-3 readers.
Finally, a few movies that I've been waiting years for finally made
their way to DVD that you should check out:
3) The Sender–NOT the one with Michel Madsen and that guy from
U.N.C.L.E. Nope, this one has Zeljko Ivanek and Kathryn Harrold and an
exploding head! Good luck finding it though……
2) Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II–Much better than the first one and
much, much better than the sequels that followed.
1) Sundown: The Vampire In Retreat–Here it goes again, my giddy fanboy
crush on Deborah Foreman rears it's head again. Oh, and it has Bruce
Campbell, David Carradine, Deborah Foreman and lots of vampires. And
it's also very funny. Plus Deborah Foreman's in it.
COMING NEXT: Our top albums of 2008