The 2008 Roadtrip: Part 1


MoTW—It's Alive

Another year and another roadtrip done.

I know you're thrilled and ready to read about this latest trip. It's a
doozy, I'm tellin' ya! A real DOOZY!

So here goes:

Sunday, 4:25 am est: Wanted to leave at 3 am, but didn't. That was the
plan and that's what I told the woman knowing full well it wouldn't
happen. I'm crafty that way. Anyway, went out the garage to start
loading up the car and wouldn't you know, the garage would only open a
foot or so. When told about this, the woman stated that it was working
perfectly fine the night before and wondered what I did. Explained I did
nothing except hit the button. Disengaged the disengage-the-garage-door
thingy and manually lifted that heavy fucker up, which was a chore since
I couldn't get a good grasp under the door since it was flush with the
floor. When I finally managed to get it up, I hit the button and watched
as the door went down as it normally would. Hit the button again and it
would only go up a foot. She said we shouldn't worry about it until we
got back so I put a rock under the door so when I disengaged the
disengage thingy, the door would come down but leave me with enough
space to lift it up from the bottom. So it was disengaged and came
CRASHING down on that rock. Now there was a dent in the door on that
right side but I had enough space to lift it up from the bottom which
really was all that mattered and I finished packing the car and then we
had to find keys to the front door which we finally did and then*

5:36 am: we were off

5:45 am: Stopped at Wally World for ice and a couple disposable cameras.
(Note: She didn't want to take the digital camera. Don't know why and
didn't ask.)

6:27 am: First rest area. My goal was to take a picture of every rest
area and maybe get some people to join in the fun. Too early for that
now though. Smoked. Two limos parked at this rest area. Weird. Almost
knocked on the windows to see what was what but didn't figuring they
might be filled with tired Mafia hitmen.

6:55 am: Entered Ohio

7;36 am: Second rest area, actually called a "Travel Plaza". Had
restaurants, bathrooms, gas station, etc. Smoked and checked out the
little dog-walking pen, saw no poopies. Another picture taken, nobody
near to join in.

8:49 am: Third rest area, or "Travel Plaza". Peed here, smoked and
scoped out the doggie pen again, still no poopies. Wow. Picture taken,
nobody to join in.

10:04 am: Entered Pennsylvania

10:06 am: Fourth rest area. Smoked. Picture taken. Having people join in
now seems like a really stupid idea. They're just there to pee or, in
some cases, take really smelly poops.

11:34 am: Fifth rest area. Smoked. Picture taken.

12:25 pm; Stopped for gas. $49.55 total cost. No smoke since I was at a
gas station and I'm smart that way. (Sadly, this was the only time I
wrote down a stop for gas. Guess it wasn't as interesting the other
three times.)

12:46 pm: Sixth rest area. Smoked. Had lunch which was a fruit cup from
those fine folks at Dole. It was tasty. No picture taken. No more
pictures of rest areas taken from here on out. Don't know why, maybe
rest areas aren't that photogenic? Got me.

1:42 pm: Seventh rest area. Smoked. Might have peed, don't know, didn't
write that down. Probably did here or at one of the previous ones
because I was downing the Diet Pepsi Max cause I like to be wired and
there's no way I could have lasted from 8:49 until now without peeing
again. Or maybe I did. Just assume that I did or did not pee at any of
the rest areas coming up from now on.

3:25 pm: Found Centralia PA after driving through and having to
backtrack. Now the fun would start.

(*There's a bit more to this than what you read but why bore you? It's
been edited for your reading excitement!)


Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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