The 2011 Roadtrip: Part 1

Lunatic Ravings!
by Stephen Johnson

Devin Townsend Project—Deconstruction

MoTW—The Great Texas Dynamite Chase

As mentioned and threatened in my last post (three weeks ago?!), it is
that time of the year for me to share with all of our loyal readers the
madcap adventures the woman and I had on our annual roadtrip.

This year I wanted to take it easy. No rushing. No time constraints.
Just get in the car and drive and eventually hit our destination.

With that in mind, I decided to pack the car Friday night so we would
have less to worry about when we left at 2 am Saturday morning. That
went off without a hitch.

Car was (mostly) packed. Cool.

I don’t know if it was excitement or what, but I couldn’t get to sleep
Friday night until around 11. But, that was ok. I could get a couple
hours of sleep and still be able to hit the 2 am departure time.

I guess I needed more than a couple hours of sleep because I didn’t wake
up until 2. No big deal, the 2 am departure time was just a guideline
and wasn’t set in stone.

I was instructed by the woman to wake her up an hour before we left. I
remembered this as I took a relaxing shower, but was immediately
reprimanded by her upon my exit from the shower because I did not wake
her up.

She really didn’t let this die, but I got the last laugh (and you’ll see
why in a little bit).

I finished packing the car with the little stuff needed and then changed
into my driving clothes (Hawaiian bathing suit, light shirt, socks and
untied sneakers), made sure everything was turned of that should be, did
one last check of the house, had one more refreshing cigarette in order
to think about something I may have forgot and then we were off!

4:08 am, 7/30/11: We left! This is where the last laugh thing comes in
because she actually was up MORE than an hour before we left and without
me having to wake her up. HA!

As for the weather, it was a-ok. Dark, but a-ok.

After a stop for gas and ice, we were now really off.

5:03 am: FIrst rest area. You know the drill, sometimes I had to pee but
everytime I needed to smoke.

5;28 am: Entered Ohio.

5:51 am: Second rest area.

6:17 am: Third rest area. And for the first time ever during our
roadtrips, I decided to let the woman drive.

6:53 am: Fourth rest area. The woman scares me with her mad driving
skills. I force her to hand me the keys and all is right in the world
again.

7:51 am: 5th rest area. Fuck typing out the numbers. “5th” is easier
than “fifth”.

9:25 am: 6th rest area. This is getting old. Again.

10:40 am: 7th rest area. Yawn. You know, I’m pretty sure we entered
Pennsylvania somewhere. Just didn’t jot it down. Oh well.

11:15 am: 8th rest area. We’ve been on a toll road for awhile. There
isn’t a way to exit without having to pay. That kinda sucks.

11:45 am: 9th rest area. I just noticed that my handwriting in the
journal is getting worse. It’s like I just don’t care.

12:20 pm: We’re in Maryland, after paying around $10 for that damned
toll.

1:00 pm: 10th rest area.

That’s where my journal ends.

Why?

What happened?

Were we making good time?

Were we lost?

Surely something exciting will happen?

COMING NEXT: The second part.

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beggining. The idea of writing weekly columns (blogs didn't exist yet) also came from Stephen. So I guess that makes him the creator of the "blog" phenomena.

https://theweirdcrap.com

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