by Stephen Johnson
MoTW–I Saw The Devil
This is the time of the year where I share with everyone my latest roadtrip shenanigans. Yet, you’re going to be left out on the cold on this since something has been bugging me so much, that I had to cancel every plan I made. Many sleepless nights have been as I’ve been pondering what in the blue hell “cresent fresh” is.
“I thought I would take a moment to comment that Stephen Johnson is NOT Cresent Fresh” so stated Bob in his last post.
Also, per Bob, “To achieve total Cresent Freshosity, you must copy the ways of the Senitram. My call to the world to become Cresent Fresh is enjoy life without hurtin’ anybody, and help others when you can.”
That’s pretty vague, if you ask me. Why must I copy the ways of the Senitram? Will this make the world better? Does he have proof? Does he practice this religiously? Or is he dipping his hand into the till and soon we’ll see him crying on the t.v. screen begging for our forgiveness, he knows he sinned, he’s only human, please trust him, he’ll never do it again. Oh, and send more money.
He then posts a video with the Crescent Fresh song. That’s different from Cresent Fresh. Therefore, he’s PRETENDING to be Crescent Fresh while he’s following the rules of Cresent Fresh which are NOT the same thing. He’s making us believe he’s following the righteous path, yet he’s made a change hoping we won’t notice that the path he’s taking isn’t the TRUE Crescent Fresh path but another possibly (and probably) more evil path, that being the Cresent Fresh path.
He’s stating what he wants us to believe Cresent Fresh is, but I warn all that they should not follow him. Put away that checkbook. Shut down that Paypal window. He’s only trying to bring you down a path which you will never be able to leave.
Instead, follow me. Join me on my path. It’s a good path, I swear. Don’t send me money unless you really, really want to. And if you do, I promise that I’ll use it for only GOOD THINGS. My path has flowers and trees and baby lambs. Cute little baby lambs. You can even pet the baby lambs ’cause they’re not evil. They’re lambs, dammit!
Maybe I do know what Cresent Fresh is. Maybe I’ve been losing sleep over something else. Maybe I’m thinking of baby lambs.
Maybe I’ll just stop here because I’m not “Cresent Fresh”.
Baby lambs. So cute.
COMING NEXT: Baby lambs