The 2008 Roadtrip: The Grand Finale

Extreme—Saudades de Rock

MoTW—Sundown: The Vampire In Retreat

2:00 pm: Just for the woman, stopped at the Boyd's Bear place thing. Not
a lot of cars in the parking lot probably because it's a Monday, but
that's a good thing since I don't want to deal with a bunch of screaming
kids. Screaming over bears for some fucking reason. They's just stuffed
bears for crying out loud!

It's a big barn, this place is. I guess that's where bears hang out in
their spare time. Feel guilty about smoking as we walk to the entrance
but there's an ashtray so I don't feel to bad.

Inside there's bears, bears, bears and more bears. And other animals
too. Guess they're branching out or something. Four levels, and we visit
them all. She picks up a few bears, I pick up a bag of sesame sticks
since they're there.

And after an hour or so, we're gone. My manliness is still intact, even
though I did fondle a few bears since I could.

4:45 pm: 8th rest area.

5:40 pm: 9th rest area.

7:09 pm: Entered West Virginia. Tucked my dick between my legs so I
wouldn't look too tempting to a backwards living mountain man.

7:10 pm: 10th rest area. Dick still tucked, good thing I didn't have to

7:29 pm: Entered Ohio. Untucked the dick.

8:33 pm: 11th rest area. Picked up a couple hotel magazines since it was
that time to find a place to crash.

9:00 pm: Took the exit to Zanesville to look for a hotel. Econolodge and
Travelodge had decent prices, but when we found them it seemed to be a
bad part of town (In Zanesville?????). I don't know, but seeing those
two gentlemen sharing drinks out of a bag as their pants continued that
slow slide down their legs didn't scream out "YOU'RE CAR WILL BE SAFE
HERE. REALLY!" to me so we headed back to the highway where there was a
Comfort Inn.

Who want $160.00 from us. Fuck that.

Luckily next door was Baymont Inn and they only wanted a measly 60
bucks. Guess who go our business?

Unloaded the car and headed to Wendy's where we got some sammiches and
scarfed them down and then crashed.

8:15 am: Left Zanesville. We had a fight about something, but I can't
remember what it was. I was probably in the right though.

8:45 am: What I've been looking for! Found a Flying J truck plaza and
had myself a rib-sticking meal from their breakfast buffet. I'll be
shitting when I get home because I can't shit on the road. There was
that one time though……..but that's a story for another day.

10:12 am: 12th rest area.

11;27 am: 13th rest area.

12:45 pm: Reached Fry's in Fisher, Indiana. (Hey, when did we hit
Indiana? I don't know!) The woman takes the car and goes shopping

I check out almost every DVD they have and go through their CD section
which is small but always has some interesting and hard-to-find stuff
stuck between the more "popular" stuff.

I have a basket full of stuff, the woman calls and says she's done so I
check out and after paying about $225.00 I'm out the door and at

3:18 pm: Left Fry's.

4:11 pm: 14th rest area. This was a really nice one! However, I have no
clue where it is exactly. Oh well.

4:55 pm: 15th rest area.

5:59 pm: Enter Michigan.

6:04 pm: 16th rest area.

6:30 pm: Stopped at a beef jerky place that we had discovered during
last year's trip, but they had closed at 6. I was depressed.

7:23 pm: 17th rest area.

9:00 pm: We're home. Manually opened the garage, unpacked and that was

And there you have it. This years roadtrip. What excitement. Next time I
need to take better notes, cause what notes I did take were seriously
lacking juicy bits. Just wait till next year!

I can't believe someone actually read this whole thing.

COMING NEXT: I unsuspend my presidential run!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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