BREAKING NEWS!!! World War III is cancelled!

Last week Jacob asked: So, is this World War III and the end of the world as we know it?

But I talked about masks and toilet paper, and never got around to answering his question.

But, wouldn’t you know it, the day after I write about masks, a judge reverses CDC’s authority to issue mask mandates. Basically, she stated that wearing a mask doesn’t disinfect anything, so its fool hearty. I think her MAGA hat is a little too tight.

It’s a first line of defense. Like a levy. A levy doesn’t evaporate water, it prevents floods.

Like my grandpa used to say, “If the soup don’t stink, don’t stir it.”

He also used to say, “They’re gonna-get-cha. You don’t know how, you don’t know when. But they’re gonna-get-cha.” I still don’t know who “they” are. Was he talking about…death, taxes, banks, police…it could be anything! He was on his last few breaths of life, so he couldn’t explain. Then, right before he passed, he sat up and shouted, “NICKEL…AND…DIME!” He lay back down and repeated quietly, ” Nickle and dime…” Then he passed. But what is it that nickel and dimes you to death…finances…life…health? I’ll never know.

I guess some folks feel they have a right not to wear a mask. It’s like car insurance. I don’t want to be forced to buy car insurance because I’m cheap and I’d rather take my chances. Like grandpa said, NICKEL AND DIME! But Johnny-law says I have to, to protect other people. Well, I don’t care about other people, but it’s the law in my state, and if I don’t get the insurance, “They’re gonna get me, I don’t know how, and I don’t know when.” So, I just suck it up and get the car insurance. And that’s, that.

So, if you feel like you shouldn’t have to wear a mask, but the CDC says you have too, then put on your big-boy pants, suck it up. and stop throwing tantrums in airplanes.

Speaking of temper tantrums, I have to admit, I miss Donald Trump and all his shenanigans. As a beer drinkin’ truck drivin’ Republican, I can say I never drank the kool-aid. He crossed the line so many times I can’t keep track. Take a monthly calendar, throw a dart at it and give me the date. I guarantee he did something stupid that day.

That aside, he did so many ridiculous things that kept me entertained, I started to look forward to hearing about his antics. But like any subscriber to Netflix knows, entertainment comes at a cost.

I’m just glad Trump wasn’t President when Putin invaded Ukraine. He would probably agree to join Putin and we’d be attacking Ukraine from the west while Putin attacked from the East. Then Putin would have moved on to NATO states…with Trump as President we’d be smack in the middle of WWIII.

All so Trump could open a casino in Moskow and end up losing money.

Which brings us to Ukraine and Putin. Who would have anticipated the the Russian military was so unprepared for an invasion? I didn’t. But it makes sense if you think about it, he’s a dictator who kills his own people all willy-nilly-like. So, when he asks his general about the invasion, he’s only gonna hear what he wants to hear.

Example:

Putin (with gun pointed at the General’s head): “Are we prepared for winter invasion?”

General: “Aaaaah, sure. Yes, nice and ready.”

Putin: “How ready!”

General: “We’re supper-ready!” We’ve never been readier! Instant victory for sure!”

Putin: “That’s better…Now tell me I’m sexy.”

General: “Aaaaaah, sure. Very much so…sir.”

Putin: “SAY IT! I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY IT!!!”

General: “YOU’RE SEXY! SEXY-SEXY-SEXY PRESIDENT…Yes, sir, very sexy. When I see picture of you on horse, I think VERY-SEXY-PRESIDENT!!!”

Putin: “That’s better.”

But I digress.

I don’t think his army can move past Ukraine, and whole mess with sanctions will run his well dry. My guess is Russia is in for some tough times. Small price to pay for such very-sexy-President.

I guess the main goal right now is not too let Putin get too angry about his losses. Maybe that will keep his fingers off the nuclear trigger. If his losses are too great, I could see him dropping nukes in Ukraine while his own troops are still there. He sees two variables, a take over or total inhiliation.

I don’t know what the future holds for Putin, but like grandpa said, “They’re gonna get-cha. You don’t know how, and you don’t know when, but they’re gonna get-cha.”

So if nukes start falling, I’m not sure if extra supplies of toilet paper will help, but I guess it couldn’t hurt.

AND NOW YOU KNOW!

Coming next: Lighten up, Frances…

Song in my head:

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Bob Senitram

Webmaster and editor of TheWeirdcrap.com. I obtained a bachelor's degree in micro-biology around the turn of the century but was quickly tracked down and forced to return it to its rightful owner and pay a $25 fine. *** A fan of science fiction, I started this website in 1999 as a portal for science fiction stories that have never been published. *** Completely devoid of talent, I decided to call on the public to supply content. Shortly afterwards Stephen and I started writing weekly columns and have continued to this day.

http://TheWeirdcrap.com

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