Happy Halloween

I’m very excited about Baby Gurl II sleeping all night! Although, I’m still suffering a little sleep deprivation due to a nasty cold I got. The other night I took some Nyquil and went to sleep, but I found out for some reason, it gives me real serious blow-hard gas, so I go to the couch to sleep for the night where I could let loose anything that wanted to escape.

I woke up early that morning. I sat up in a half-asleep daze and noticed it was a bit chilly. I looked around.

“What the…?” I noticed the front door was open and cold air was blowing in the front room. Feeling exposed, I got up and closed the door. I think I gotta check out the house. I took a few steps in the front room and noticed the window was wide open.

I closed it.

My wife came down the hall in her PJ’s. “It’s cold in here. Why is the window open?”

I turn from my wife to face the window. It was open.

“What the hell?” I muttered under my breath as I closed it again.

I turn around and my wife is right behind me.

“What’s that noise in the chimney?”

I walk toward the chimney and hear a, “Tap-tap.”

“Must be a bird or something.” I explain.

My wife taps on the glass cover, “Tap-tap-tap.”

A reply comes, “Tap-tap-tap.”

Feeling a little spooked now, I run outside, around the house to the chimney. There’s a little snow on the ground and my socks are getting wet. “Hey, who’s there at the chimney!”? I yell.

No one is there.

I feel stupid and go back inside. My wife is still facing the chimney. I look up the stairs and a little boy about 6 years old is walking down the hall, rubbing his eyes.

“Where did you come from?” I ask.

“I don’t know.” He says, “I woke up here.”

I go upstairs a little concerned for my two Baby Gurls.

Two more boys walk from Baby Gurl II’s room.

“Where are we?” One asks.

“You woke up here too?” the first boy asks.

“Uh, huh.” Comes the reply.

I look down toward the front room where my wife is and she’s in a daze by the presence of about five more kids wondering around our front room.

Worried about my own Girls, I check Baby Gurl II’s room and she’s safe and asleep in her crib. I head toward Baby Gurl I’s room and a girl around 8 wanders out of her room. I walk past her and check Baby Gurl I. She’s fast asleep and safe.

I walk toward the kitchen and the ol’ lady’s making breakfast for our house full o’ kids.

I’m a little spooked and a little mad. I take the oldest girl by the arm and demand she tells me where they came from. She yanks her arm away and states that they just woke up here.

“That’s it!” I yell. “You kids got to go back to where-ever you came from.”

The 8-year old speaks up, “Where we came from, we can’t go back.”

“I’m calling the police!” I say as I pick up the phone.

As I start to dial, the oldest girl throws up on my arm and face. Pissed, I take her to the bathroom, and she throws up some more in the toilet. I wash the puke from my arm and it turns from an oatmeal consistency to a thick black sloth. I wash the puke from my face only to realize that I have some of it in my mouth. It tastes bitter.

I rinse the puke from my mouth with water cupped in my hands and the black sloth starts to ooze from my mouth. Feeling sick, I scoop more water in my mouth and spit out more of the black ooze that seems to grow the more I try to get it out.

I look up from the sink with the ooze dripping from my chin and the girl is starring at me with a smile, “That should do it.” She says.

I’m speechless.

“Soon you’ll be one of us.”

With a sudden jerk I waken. I look toward the front door and it is closed. “Thank God.” I mutter under my breath.

And now you know!

COMING NEXT: Something less creepy.

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