by Robert Senitram
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds…Part II
It’s been a loud, cold, bumpy ride the whole way.
We got a nice meal earlier. You know, just in case. I feel a little sick to my stomach, not from the food, just nerves…
…I think I can hold it, as long as we don’t start spinnin’ all around the place. Which could happen if we get shot down, but that ain’t happened yet, so I guess we’re good to go!
All I can remember is the sensation of cold.
Freezing wind, numbing my, my…actually the sensation of being no longer exists, so I don’t have a sense of “what was cold”, I just remember cold and I didn’t like it.
It’s difficult now, for me to explain what it’s like to have consciousness, but not exist.
But there I was. I knew there was a form of existence that I experienced before, but no longer remembered. I knew there were others. Then I became aware of the blackness.
There I was, existing with no sensations, then becoming aware of the dark.
“This is it?” I said in my head.
“Don’t worry, there’s more.” Came the reply.
“He remembers.” A worried voice/thought said.
“Don’t worry, he’ll forget.” Came the calm reply.
My eyes closed and the darkness enveloped me, but I didn’t forget.
When my eyes opened again, I was walking, kinda-wobbly…heading toward stairs, when giant hands took me by my underarms and lifted me high above the ground.
“I was just going to take a look.” I explained.
“Look, he thinks he’s talking!” The giant said, while carrying me to the next room.
I recall lying in bed as a toddler recalling “the before time”. The darkness, the something before, and the cold. I kept playing it in my head, over and over so I wouldn’t forget. It’s not much, but its more than most folks know about before and after life.
I was born August 15, 1945, the day the New York Times said the war had ended.
As a young adult, I was always fascinated by World War II. How it started, how it ended. Not a crazy fascination with swaztikas and guns, a historical fascination.
It was hard to explain why I liked to sleep with my arms crossed like Dracula, but I did. I was hard to explain why I hated cold, wind, and snow…but I do. I can’t explain the never-ending feeling of accomplishment every time I reviewed Hitler’s defeat. It just made me feel…good.
Sixty years later, I’m watching the WW II in HD on PBS when I see the footage of paratroopers puking on the plan, jumpin’ out, and getting shot in mid-air. I rewind the DVR and watch the paratroopers again. I rewind and watch again. I rewind and stop.
Taking a drink from a Carona, I finally get it.
I press “play” on the DVR and watch intently. A third paratrooper gets shot in mid-air…I stop and magnify. Leaning closer, I crawl to the screen and put my hand on it.
COMING NEXT: Something that makes sense!