The Snake Lady Comes Not for you

Song in my head:
“Shake that Laffy-Taffy,
that Laffy-Taffy…”
– D4L –

I have to admit it, I didn’t even know what that guy was talking about until someone explained it to me. So, looks like Scooter Libby spilled the beans on good ol’ Dick Cheny. Don’t worry there’s more to come, I’m sure. Eventually Dick will spill the beans on the President, he just doesn’t seem like the type that will go behind bars for anyone.

Forget about that, I must tell you about my most curious dream:

I find out that if I relax and lean forward, I can float. So I do. Then I give a good pound with my leg and relax, and up I go…floating like a balloon. Come close to a power line and I just kick it ever so lightly and slowly float the other way. A crude method of navigation, but effective just the same. Once perfected I want to show my buddy Jay.

“Hey Jay, check this out!” I call as he exits the fast food restaurant where he worked. Up, up I go. Then slowly I float back.

He just looks at me, “Show me something I haven’t seen before.”

I land, and forget about the flying. I think, “Am I the only one who didn’t know this was possible?” Going off the subject I convince him to take a look at the abandoned Wendy’s resturant down the street. When we arrive we find a small square window that is not boarded up, so we climb in.

“It’s dark, too dark.” he says one we get in. Jay goes straight to the counter, probably looking for money. I follow, but stop halfway because I hear some rustling boxes. Turning around I see the outline of a giant snake about ten feet long. Certain that death was the next thing on the menu, I give a nervous swallow.

It moves from the dark, and in the light I see the head portion has a female arms, breasts and head. Kind of like a mermaid, only snake instead of fish. “I need to lay my eggs.” she says to me.

My eyes widen as fear overcomes me.

“Don’t worry I can’t lay my eggs in you,” she assures me.

My face says relief as well as why?

“Your dead.”

I look down and through my torn, dirty jeans, I legs that are decomposing with bloody flesh dripping off. “Wow, what a stroke of luck.” I say as I climb out the window, leaving Jay behind.

“Say why don’t you just give me the eggs and I’ll put them in a nice warm place.” I tell the snake lady.

She hands me the eggs through the window, and I look at one thinking, “It looks kinda’ tasty.”

“Don’t you dare!” she says.

Then I wake up…you figure it out.

Or if your too lazy to figure out this mess, enjoy this fine music video for the pokemon theme!
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And now you know!

Bob Senitram

Webmaster and editor of I obtained a bachelor's degree in micro-biology around the turn of the century but was quickly tracked down and forced to return it to its rightful owner and pay a $25 fine. *** A fan of science fiction, I started this website in 1999 as a portal for science fiction stories that have never been published. *** Completely devoid of talent, I decided to call on the public to supply content. Shortly afterwards Stephen and I started writing weekly columns and have continued to this day.

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