I would like to thank everyone for visiting our website and submitting questions! Once we rebranded in 2021, I was a little unsure about our resurgence…but traffic has been pretty impressive for a site that started with zero visits.
So, how did we go from several million views a month to zero?
It was easy, I just put Stephen Johnson in charge, and we were bankrupt within a week!
Once that goal was accomplished, we no longer had a staff. I got lazy as we grew and never learned how things worked. With no IT folks we didn’t know how to update the site.
Then the internet switched to https…I never updated to the fancy https. I just couldn’t figure out how that technical stuff worked, so it never happened. We were dropped by all search engines, because we wern’t legit.
Had we kept things running, the staff at TheWeirdrap.com would probably be millionaires by now…but thanks to Stephen’s keen eye for business, that never happened.
Speaking of questions, here’s one from “June”:
“I fell down a rabbit hole with the columns at the weirdcrap and Jerome shows up from time to time. Who is this person? Is he real? Tell me more.”
My Dear New Friend June:
Jerome is real, and he is by all accounts a bumbling fool. His parents are farmers from western Nebraska, and he moved to my hometown years ago in search for a better life.
Jerome moved to Omaha, NE when he attempted to obtain GED degree but failed every class…even general math. Then he then got a job at a fast-food restaurant, where he messed up people’s orders, gave out incorrect change, and often showed up without shoes. They kept him just the same and he works there to this very day.
I remember when I first met Jerome. I went thru the drive-thru and ordered a cheeseburger and fries and only got a quarter back out of a $20 bill. I checked my order only to find a cheeseburger with no burger inside…just bread, ketchup and cheese. So went inside and confronted my soon to be best friend.
“Hey, this cheeseburger doesn’t have any burger. And I only got a quarter back out of a twenty.” I explained as I put it on the counter.
“You said you wanted a hamburger with cheese and ketchup, so I gave you cheese and ketchup. You didn’t say you wanted a burger in it.” He explained.
“Burger is in the name…cheeseBURGER. Besides, my change.”
“Wait…cheese…burger. Cheese…b-u-r-g-e-r…my god, you’re right! I can’t believe I never noticed that…no wonder we never have customers. But the change is good. 20 dollars minus 3 dollars and fourty-three cents is……..um…yeah, 25 cents. Yeah, that’s right.” He explained.
“No its not.” I countered.
“I’ll arm wrestle you for it. Where I’m from, we settle disagreements by arm wrestling.”
“You’re drunk, aren’t you?” I asked.
“Sure, isn’t everybody?”
I knew right then and there Jerome was my kind of guy and offered him a job at TheWeirdcrap.com where he proceeded to crash the site a total of 12 times but kept us entertained with his drunken antics. He kept his job at the restaurant because we only paid him $1.50 a month. So, see? You don’t have to be smart to be likeable!
And that’s all I got to say about that.
AND NOW YOU KNOW!
Song In My Head:
COMING NEXT: Wait…who’s dead?
A new Ask Bob column every Friday!