Michael asks:
My names Michael and I feel it has been impossible to find my meaning. I have classified myself and a “wondering wonderer”, also known as a drifter. So now I ask you, the knower of all questions to help me find my meaning.
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Dear Michael:
Your meaning is not as complicated as it may seem.
If you take care of the basic necessities of survival, then you can then move on and start putting icing on the cake of life. That’s pretty much it. Survive, then try to do stuff you like (as long as the stuff you like doesn’t harm others).
So, what are these necessities? Biologically, as a multi-cellular organism you have two primary objectives, reproducing cells for your body and reproducing. Anything else is just icing.
To maintain cellular reproduction, you’ll need to have food and shelter. You can probably get by for a while without shelter, but not food. You have to eat. So, in our society you need a job to get money, so you can eat, and if you’re lucky also give yourself shelter.
Now to reproduce, you need a mate…a wife or husband in our society. For most, just follow the basic rule for humans, which is don’t be a jerk. If you want your mate to stick around and not kill you in your sleep, you may have to take that one step further and be nice. That doesn’t mean ACT nice, that means BE nice. If you fake it, it won’t last.
So, you get married, mabe got a kid. Well, now you have to take care of yourself and others. So, it’s back to money and a job.
In most cases, if you go to college, you’ll get paid more. Aiming for the highest paying job you can get is a move that helps with the primary and secondary objectives.
Also, in college many people will find something that they’re interested in. This can become your calling, which can bring emotional fulfillment while providing an income. So, potentially, the college thing can add a little icing.
Some folks can find a job passion without college. That’s all good too. But if you can’t get to college and you have no passion, just get a job…any job, I don’t care. If you’re good at what-ever you’re doing, don’t be afraid to ask for more money…you need that cash!
“But Bob,” you may ask, “I’m a nice guy and the ladies keep swiping past me on the dating apps…how do I meet someone?”
Well, here’s a little biology that the dating apps don’t want you to know about.
A lot of music and movies are all about that lovey-dovey passion. But in reality, strong emotional feelings are the combination of three things, pheromones, hormones, and physical attraction. If you’re using an app to meet folks, then you only have 1/3 of the equation working in your favor.
Humans are naturally attracted other humans that release pheromones which represent immune sequences that are not present in their own genome. This is so your offspring will have the best immune system possible. This also increases the probability of expanding the genetic variability of your offspring. The greater the variability, the healthier, stronger, and smarter the offspring.
Therefore, to get the ball rolling, you need more than a picture on an app. A man or woman who barely meets another’s physical standards can seem irresistible in person. Pheromones are unconsciously detected by or noses, not our eyes. When the right pheromones are detected, your body releases serotonin, which further enhances the sensation.
If they’re also physically attracted to you, even just a little bit, then with the aid of pheromones and serotonin may feel infatuated and want to spend more time with you. Then it’s your job to not be a jerk and keep the ball rolling.
Therefore, you have to be there in person because an image is not enough.
I’m sure we’ve all experienced this at some time. You spy someone you think is attractive. You gather up the nerve to go talk to them, and a few minutes later…nothing. You can’t figure out why you’re not attracted to this person. Well, most likely, that’s the pheromones.
So, biology (not an app) will help you identify a good potential mate.
Here’s an example:
When I was in college, I was dating a girl that seemed really nice. I told my mom about her and right away she wants to know if the girl is attractive.
I said “uh-huh.”
Not knowing anything about immunity pheromones, she asked if I get “butterflies” in my stomach.
I said, “Why yes, yes I do.”
“I think I hear wedding bells…” She sing-songs.
She was going thru the ancient mating checklist. Attractive + Butterflies = Mate. Which is the same as the biological checklist, Attractive + Pheromone Response (Butterflies) = Mate.
A few weeks later, during my yearly physical, I report some of the symptoms I’ve have after drinking milk or eating ice cream. The Doc suggested I stop with the dairy for a few months to see if I was lactose intolerant.
Well, I did, and the symptoms went away…so did the butterflies.
Turned I wasn’t in love, I was just lactose intolerant. So, I guess it doesn’t work EVERY time, but usually, yes.
To summarize the meaning of life: Keep yourself alive the best you can and go out and meet people in person, so you (and people you meet) can sniff each other’s pheromones and move on from there.
That’s a little something the dating apps don’t want you to know.
AND NOW YOU KNOW!
Song in my head:
Coming Next: Piggy in the Middle!
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