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Michelle from Little Rocks asks:
So what’s all this about tax cuts?

Dear Michelle,
Your question reminds me of the time I tried to ice skate on an air hockey table.

Seemed like a good idea, but I should have anticipated that those skinny wooden peg legs wouldn’t support my weight.

Yep, should have known better.

For those who have no idea what air hockey is. It’s a game. Something we did to stop us from getting bored in the before time, before Nintendo’s, Wii’s, and computers.

Which brings me to the rope-swing incident of 1967. Back in the day before “the day,” in my neck of the woods, people used to set up tree swings at “Wildcat Canyon”. This was probably the un-safest place in the world for a kid to play. The place had it all, Bobcats, snakes and vermin, not to mention one to two hundred foot cliffs.

So these tree swings usually were attached to large tree branch that overhung a small cliff that was usually rocky and lead to a creek below. They seemed to be everywhere and me and my brothers used to have a ball looking for the most dangerous one we could find.

My brother takes his belt off and uses it knock the rope so it swings and we can grab it and start the tree swinging. He takes the rope, backs up and runs toward the cliff a jumps on the rope knot on the bottom and swings off the cliff. At its highest point he was at least two hundred feet high with the rocky creek below. When he swings back to land he jumps off and holds the rope for the next guy.

On my turn, I run, jump, and land on the rope knot. Swing way out high and realize I’m scared to death. When I come back to land, by older brother yells, “jump, Bobby, jump.”

I don’t.

I swing out again, only this time not as far. I come back. Two brothers yelling now, “Jump when you come back. You have to jump or you’ll get stuck in the middle.”

I don’t jump.

Finally I come back a third time and jump. I was about two feet away from land and I fall down the almost horizontal dirt and rocky cliff. I make my hands like claws and just dig into the dirt with hands and feet to slow me down. Lucky I didn’t tumble. Finally I stop around ten feet from the top. My brothers direct me to climb back slowly and when I get close enough my brother gives me a hand.

I got scratched up a little but all in all, I lived.

Which brings me back to tax cuts and budget stuff.

In short, it’s all in the timing.

If the country has no deficit and the economy is looking good, sure save folks a few bucks here and there on taxes. That was the picture when the Bush tax cuts were put into play.

When the economy started going bad a few years ago and we continued with the tax cuts and so forth, well that was us not jumping to land when we should have.

Now we got one more chance to jump before we fall into shit-creek.

The sad truth is, we need taxes to run the government. If a politician tells you he can cut spending and not tax anybody and still solve the budget problems, hand him some K-Y jelly, ‘cause he’s jerking you off.

Taxes are how the government gets its money. Politicians can cut and chop government all they want to save that tax money, but it’s not an alternative. Its something you got to do with taxes.

It’s just like a household. You can’t make ends meet by shopping at Wal-Mart and quitting your job. You gotta keep the money coming in and shop at Wal-Mart.

Since I’m on a roll with analogies, here’s another:

If the economy is a dying man who’s in shock and bleeding to death, the Democrats say put a blanket on him and try to get him out of shock. The Republicans say stitch up that wound lickity-split and throw away that stupid blanket, it don’t do nuthin’.

And that’s how you have everyone right and everyone wrong at the same time.

First we have to realize that the whole time we’ve been enjoying wonderful Bush-tax cuts, we’ve been borrowing the equivalent from China to run the country. We get 4 trillion dollars of tax cuts and borrow 4 trillion dollars abroad.

This is not wise.

The Republicans want to cut a ½ million dollars in spending, in exchange of 4 trillion dollars in tax cuts and tell us it’s a good idea. They can juggle facts any way they want, however the math doesn’t change the fact that this logic is butt-ugly stupid.

To make good on a campaign promise, Democrats want to drop that tax cut from 4 trillion to 2 trillion and cut x million dollars in spending. Better if you got no other choices. But we don’t.

What do we have? The Tea Party.

Are they for Bush tax cuts? Nobody really knows.
How will they decrease spending? Nobody really knows.

They’re just smooth operators who will talk you into bed and forget your number the next day.

At least the Republicans are willing to jerk you off; the Tea Partiers just give you a pretty candidate and expect you to jerk yourself off.

So there you have it. In matters of finances (which should always guide your voting decisions), you don’t need to look for the candidate or party who’s good.

Just vote for the party who sucks the least.

In case you forgot what it was like before Obama, here’s a reminder.

COMING NEXT: Do I get fooled again!

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