Getting out!

Song in my head:
First there is a mountain,
Then there is no mountain,
Then there is…
-Donovan

Well that all-too-awaited for report came out about what to do in Iraq. To summarize they decided to go with my original idea that “cut and run”, should be changed to “cut your losses”, since it seems we’ve won the battle but lost the war. “Cut your losses” was made famous on “Face the Nation” about a month ago. But the details of that concept only appeared in the Ask Bob column a month prior to its popularity.

Since the oust of Saddam only increased terrorism (again one of my predictions), the only way to gain control is to go back to dictator-like aggression in keeping the peace.

Cut your losses is the “I’m getting’ outta here” approach. It will be safe and quick, but the country will become a haven for terrorists and we’ll probably end up sending the next generation. So I guess I’m gonna have to back out of that idea as the best solution.

My new solution is based on creating stability to decrease the probability of terrorists taking over, while getting out as soon as possible.

First, Bush needs to resign. No coherent country is going to help us while Bush is in office. I feel sorry for him.

Really.

I knew all along he would fail, but I never imagined it would be on such a grand scale with so many lives at stake. He’s failed and his continued presence will cost two more years of countless American and Iraqi lives.

A fresh start. That’s the only thing that will encourage other countries to really help out. Sorry, but it’s the only way.

Second, we need to pick a side. We can’t harbor a civil war as a third party with both sides against us. We have to go with the majority and include their militias in our efforts.

Third, we need to behave according to Geneva conventions, but turn a blind eye to anything but extreme torture and the killing of children by Iraqi militias. Extreme violence and fear is what Saddam used to keep rebels at bay and it worked. It’s horrible, but as we now know, the alternative is worse.

Turning a blind eye, means following all the proper procedures, but the guilty parties are always found innocent. It’s what we do here in good ol’ Omaha.

In fact, recently we had an auditor that investigated “police misbehavior”, and the random killing of black people decreased drastically in the last few years. I think Mayor Mike Fahey was disappointed by this outcome and that’s why he really recently fired the auditor. Soon it’ll be business as usual. Black people will die, police will go to trial and will be found innocent. Just like New York.

Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t approve of this. I hate the idea of KKK members in the police, killing who-ever they want, then the judge says, “We can’t tie the hands of our police force…”

I’m just saying, as bad as it is, this type of common “American Justice” can actually serve a purpose when dealing with a nation that is falling apart.

With increased control, we’ll get more Iraqi police and military recruits, then we can leave.

Keep in mind, we will need to have some military and diplomats to police the police and monitor judges so extreme cases of violence are not allowed.

When we’re done, we could send those guys to some American cities and get things cleaned up here at home.

COMING NEXT: My Spectacular Christmas Special filled with good cheer!

Really.

Bob Senitram

Webmaster and editor of TheWeirdcrap.com. I obtained a bachelors degree in micro-biology around the turn of the century, but was quickly tracked down and forced to return it to its rightful owner and pay a $25 fine. *** A fan of science fiction, I started this website in 1999 as a portal for science fiction stories that have never been published.*** Completely devoid of talent, I decided to call on the public to supply content. Shortly afterwards Stephen and myself started writing weekly columns and have continued to this day.

http://TheWeirdcrap.com

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