Guest Writers

Lunatic Columns, Blogs, Nonsense

We’ve been writing our columns since 1999!

Lunatic Ravings | Spamrider of the Apocalypse | Chick Shit | Crap Considered | Guest Writers | Column Archives

This page features recent samples of each writer.

Why are we obsessed with writing columns/stories that hardly anyone reads?
We don’t know.

But if you enjoy thought provoking opinions or serious literature, then you wandered down the wrong alley.
This is Tic Tok in written form.

What follows may include opinions disguised as facts, facts disguised as jokes, and bad writing disguised as fiction.

This garbage goes back to 1999 and is rarely seated in reality, which makes it timeless.
So pay a visit to the older stuff. It isn’t so much about reading about the world 20 years ago.
It’s more about what a knuckle headed freak of nature was thinkin about way back when.

Click the Archives link for a quarter century’s worth of gibberish that just might put a smile on your face.

Crap Considered

  • Broken Promises…Part II
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramIf a trashy person talks nice, is it still trash talk? Like I mentioned last week, I like to keep my promises. But that don’t always go so…
  • Broken Promises…
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramJust some guy to tends to be at the wrong place at the wrong time…. I know someone out there must be wondering, “What’s the REAL Bob Senitram…
  • It’s that Time Again!
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramNo bacon, just bringing home the nonsense… Well, I’ve been watching all them talking heads on TV and now I guess I got a little somethin’ to say…
  • My Shitty-TV, my Shitty-Self…
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramJust some guy who never expected to write a weekly column… After the conclusion of “The Squealing of the Pigs,” Stephen, being the bastard that he is, commented,…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 13!
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, and then some… Hopalong, aka Stephen burst thru the door with a gun pointed at the head of Bob’s trainer from the academy. “Nameless…

Lunatic Ravings

  • The Journey To HR, Part 122!
    by Stephen Johnson
    The bear swiped at Bob who was in mid-twirl and knocked him to the ground. The mauling began as Bob shrieked. “A bear?” he asked between his shrieks as the…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 121!
    by Stephen Johnson
    For a week he burned. We milled around the office, just watching him shriek and hop around as he burned and burned some more. Other than the burning, nothing else…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 120!
    by Stephen Johnson
    “Seriously? This is the way?” I asked. “This IS the way,” Bob replied. “THIS….is the way,” replied the HR lady. So, this I accepted and died I did. Soon after,…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 119!
    by Stephen Johnson
    “Probably not,” I said as the torn apart body parts began to move around, connecting with each other until Bob was whole again. “See?” The HR lady sighed. “Look,” she…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 118!
    by Stephen Johnson
    The HR lady looked down at Bob. “You want what?” she asked. “New feets!” Bob said, pointing at his feetless legs. She mumbled and grumbled as she walked over to…

Spamrider

  • Shit Schmelnoz Says, Part π!
    by Spamrider
    My old friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible, who is a space alien from the future of an alternate timeline, has never been married.  In fact, he didn’t even know what marriage…
  • The Thieves of Time
    by Spamrider
    I know it’s been a few years now since I bitched about the time change but with all the recent rigamarole I figured it’s about time to start bitching again. …
  • Ask The Spamrider
    by Spamrider
    So Bob has brought out the whip again and threatened to give me 39 lashes if I didn’t go through the dozen or so bags of fan mail that have…
  • The New Devil’s Dictionary
    by Spamrider
    Irony: How rust tastes
  • Pillbug Zen
    by Spamrider
    Today I saw the tiniest little pillbug I ever seen in my life.  Then suddenly I got this notion.  So I watched.  And I seen something move.  It was just…

Lunatic Column Archives

Visit the archives to discover columns by other writers such as P.S. Gifford, Bel Garion, Melissa Paternick, and Brian Petre. This content has absolutely nothing to do with reality, so it doesn’t really matter when they were published.

You like to jot down stuff just for the fun of it? Feel free to submit a column!