The strange dreams continue:
I was going thru my morning rush routine trying to get ready for class. In this dream I was in college, but instead of living in the basement apartment like I did in real life, I had a nice little one bedroom house.
Munching on a handful of Cheerios without milk, I grabbed my backpack and headed toward the door.
It was then I realized I was too late to catch the bus. That’s when I noticed him.
A 3-foot-tall alien with an elongated head, casually sitting on my couch watching cartoons.
“Shit, I missed the bus!” I said.
“Hey man, don’t worry about it.” The alien returned.
“I can’t miss class again! The professor will think I don’t give a shit, then I’ll get a crummy grade!”
“Don’t worry ’bout it.” The alien got up, went to the bedroom and returned with an oversized kitty litter box looking thing. “Here, use this.”
He put some ointment on the bottom of a glass plate looking thing and put it in the litter box. “There, that should work just fine.”
“What do I do with this?” I ask.
“Just sit in it, it’ll take you where you want to go.”
“Well…” I think about it for a second, and decide, “What do I got to lose?” I take a seat, it’s a tight fit, but I get in just the same.
“Now, put your thumbs under your arms and flap your arms nice and smooth like.” He instructs.
“That’s crazy, I’ll look like a fool.”
“Just do it.” he replies.
So I start flapping nice and slow and the litter box starts to gently rise in the air.
“Now lean forward, and your good to go!” He says as he sits back down on the couch and switches to a different channel. “Shit, why did they take Captain Kangaroo off the air!”
“Captain Kangaroo died a long time ago.” I say as I lean forward and I hover out the front door. “Hey, close the door will ya!” I yell back as I exit the house.
“Shit.” The alien gets off the couch, annoyed, and closes the door as I float down the sidewalk.
I flap a little faster and I speed up. I’ll make it to school in good time, I think to myself.
I’m zooming down the street in this flying kitty litter box, when I eye a warehouse on my right hand side. “Oh, what the hell, I’m late anyway.”
I head toward the warehouse and see a docking door is open, so I decide to float right in. I zoom into the warehouse, and fly past employees hard at work and lean forward to go faster, and tilt up so I zip up high where stuff is stored on large shelves.
I forget all about going to school because it’s fun to fly!
I’m zipping past stuff stored up high, when I see the manager below. He’s waving at me, and calling me to stop. So, I slow down, curve and lean down and I lower myself to the manger’s level.
“Hey, what’s your name?” He asks.
“Bob Senitram at your service.” I reply.
“You got some gusto, comin’ in here like that. The kind of gusto we’re looking for in a management position! How would you like working for us?” He asks.
“I’m still in college, and I haven’t graduated yet…is that ok?”
“No problem, come in tomorrow and fill out an application and your hired!”
“Sounds good.” I reply.
So the next day I get into the litter box to go to work and I can barely get off the ground, but I do manage to fly. Only it’s real hard to move and I can’t go as quick as I did the day before. I’m flappin’ and flappin’ and I’m just a few inches off the ground. I’m nervous about getting there. What if they want me to fly around like yesterday? This is no good at all, I think.
I slowly make it to my new job. I get to work, sit the litter box in a corner and introduce myself to the receptionist. She hands me the paper work and looks down from her glasses at the litter box. “Are you just gonna leave that here.” She asks.
“Yeah, but no harm done, heh.” I nervously say, as I take the employment application and and sit down and start filling out the info. I put a document on my phone with all my employment history, so I’m just copying what I prepared the night before.
“Here you go.” I hand the stuff to the receptionist.
“Ok, just take a seat and Mr. Man will be right out for your interview.” She instructs.
Mr. Man comes and invites me to his office where he inquires about my flying device.
“It’s just a little something I put together for a physics project.” I explain.
“Well, you could have your own crew with your little project! We always have to get a box that’s way up high and it’s a big ordeal to get a forklift to retrieve one little box. With your device, we can just zoom right up and get it without waiting for the forklift guy who’s always doing something else. Yes sir, you can really make a difference with that thing, and we’ll save a ton of money!”
“Ok, yeah that sounds great. Can’t wait to be part of the team.” I try to sound enthusiastic, but I’m not.
“You start first thing tomorrow morning!”
“Ummm, ok.” I say as I’m thinking about how poorly my device worked this morning.
Off I go, barely floating home in the suffering litter box.
I tell the Alien, who’s at home watching Oprah. He explains, “Oh, all you need is some more ointment.”
He picks up the plastic plate thingy and puts some alien jelly stuff on the bottom and puts it back in the litter box thingy, “There, try it now.”
I works like a charm and I’m zippin’ all around the front yard.
When I land, I think back and remember him putting the gel on the plate the first time. “I forgot all about the gel. I didn’t know it made it fly.”
“It doesn’t.” he says. “It just helps, like the box. The box is just used so you can visualize the movement. You don’t really need the box at all…go ahead give it a try.”
I step out of the box. I lean forward, very gently, I lean more and more until I’m horizontal to the ground.
I think about going forward, kind of shifting my weight ahead, they way you would shift your weight to lean right or left. And I start to move. I will myself with a physical weight shift forward and I’m heading toward the driveway. I lean right and head down the street. I lean right with the forward weight and I turn around. I keep going.
I float around the neighborhood a bit, which was really fun and come back home.
The alien is sittin’ on the couch watching Gomer Pyle. He looks at me with a gentle smile. “How you like it?”
“Amazing, I had no idea that I could fly.” I say, as I plop down on the couch next to him.
He leans toward me and whispers, “All people can fly, they just don’t because they think they can’t. Well, gotta go. I got places to go and people to see.” And he gets up and leaves…forever, I think.
I sit there while Gomer Pyle is getting yelled at by Seargent Carter and I realize that the only limitations humans have, are the limitations we put on ourselves.
Which is nice to know.
AND NOW YOU KNOW!
Song in my head:
COMING NEXT: My troubles with God!
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