I realized this Sunday that I am The Procrastinator. My skills for putting things off cannot be matched. Now if I have chores around the house, I’m ok with it and I get-er done. But the minute I have to leave the house, suddenly I realize I have a dozen things I have to do before I leave the house, from taking a shower, to brushing my teeth to sweeping the kitchen floor.
This weekend I topped it off, by doing all of the above, then I stopped and talked to my wife for fourty minutes about how much I procrastinate before I finally left. When all options were exhausted, I turned to talking about procrastination as a way of putting off leaving. Not bad.
Now I’m writing my Sunday blog and its Tuesday.
With all the stuff going on in the Middle East, I figure if those countries put a guy in charge of the military like me, then peace would endure. Not because I wouldn’t do my job, but because it take me at least five years to get the troops ready. By the time we were ready, the troops tour of duty would be over and we’d have to start again. Seven or eight years later, we’d be good to go.
However, by then we’d find our selves captive by the enemy.
But if the enemy also got someone like me, then they would also not be ready for several years. As a result, a peace negotiation would have been settled and the need for the military would disappear. And there you have it…at long last…peace.
All they have to do is hire a couple of undependable, lazy, bastards like myself and the rest will fall together.
Sounds better than the current alternative.
And now you know.