The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes

Well, looks like it’s time for baby-gurl number two! Not born yet, but it should be just a few days…down to the ticker, I’d say. Baby-gurl number one was ten pounds and it looks like we’re gonna have another big one.

Gurl one is four.

Funny, if you go back to the archives, when ‘ask bob’ started I was a newlywed with a wife in college. Now we is all settled down and what not. I guess it’s something you grow into.

Having an education is a definite plus on payday. I work with several folks who didn’t get much schoolin’…no college, some of ’em not even a high school diploma. They got kids and but they don’t make enough money even though they’re pretty bright.

Me ol’ lady and me both have college and do ok.

Speaking of work, to use FMLA benefits (Family Medical Leave Absence) I have to pick a date that my time off begins. Now I’m thinkin’, what if the kid’s born early?

If I call in sick, I need a Dr note. If we’re at work and get sick the book says we have to be able to show physical evidence of our illness, otherwise it’s an unexcused absence.

The last time I went home early, I had a sour stomach flue thing and had to run to the bathroom to before I puked on my coworkers. I grabed a dixie cup on the way to the bathroom and held it in the stream that poured from my mouth. Warm acidic fluid spilled all over my hand and forarm. My shirt sleve was soaked by the time I finished, but there it was…in all its glory…my evidence of illness in a dixie cup.

I took my shirt off (I had a T-shirt underneath), rinsed my sleave and covered the cup with a paper towel and headed toward my bosses office with a big shit-ass-grin on my face. I shouldn’t have filled the cup to the brim, ’cause some spilled here and there leaving behind a distinct odor.

I slapped the cup on my bosses desk with the pride of a job well done.

“What the hell is that?!” he replied, snickering from the smell.

“I gotta go home early, got the flu, this is my physical evidence of illness.” I explained.

“You fucking idiot, we just check your temperature! Get that shit out of my office and get the fuck out!”

I immediately left for home. The next day I wasn’t sure if I was fired for being a dick-wad so I just went to work and started working. Everyone seemed to just go along with it, although a few co-workers gave me shit later for leaving puke all over the bathroom wall and spilling it in the hallway and not cleaning any of it up. I guess the office got really ripe by the end of the day.

And now you know.

And now enjoy, “IN SEARCH OF SPOCK : PART III”

Better yet, here’s a classic…William Shatner performing “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.” I can’t imbed this one, so you’ll have to go to google at:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7258896287489458266

COMING NEXT: BUSINESS AS USUAL!

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