How Much Vomit Would A Person Vomit If A…Oh Forget It!

Yoyo asks:
If I vomit a lot will I eventually vomit up my own poo? And if so, where will it end?

This had to be scientifically tested. I got the idea in my head of how to do this, I would be the placebo and Jerome would be the test subject. Jerome didn’t want to help at first, but he owes me since I literally saved his life in his time of need.

When the time came, I called Jerome, but he said he was too busy coloring. I told him I’d throw in a new coloring book with the salted nut roll if he came right away and he agreed.

I remember when I first met Jerome. I was a wee ten year old, heading toward the local grocery to buy some ice cream and steal some candy bars when I see this barefoot, shabby dressed kid, scraping the sidewalk with a fish head. I asked what he was doing, and he explained that he was “coloring” the sidewalk with fish head blood.

Turns out, Jeromes dad was a fisherman and he often home the fishheads for Jerome to play with. Jerome had an elaborate set up with those fish head on the sidewalk, some fish heads were attached to barbie dolls, so they had tiny barbie bodies and giant fish heada. He had some lined up in rows so it looked like he had a fish studio audience. He had two fishes that had toothpicks in their lower jaws. Then he pulled the tothpick up and down while talking, so it looked like the fishies were talking.

Then he went about his business…

“That’s right, that is quite a drawing you’ve done on the sidewalk Jerome, really, reaaally, something to see.” He said in a slightly nervous sounding voice while moving the fish jaw.

Then he grabbed the other fish head, and moved the toothpick up and down, while almost yell-talking. “That’s right, Johnny, it is an esquisite piece of art. He really brought out the essence and feel of starry-starry night with this one. And the colors, the colors are amazing. Every shade of red is being used. Every single shade…NOT ONE SHADE HAS BEEN LEFT OUT…THIS PICTURE HAS EVERY…SINGLE…SHADE…OF…”

“Not so fast my fish-breathed friend…” The other fish replied.

Then Jerome mimicked a laughing audience, “Har, har, har, har, har…”

“Hey kid” I interuped.

“What.”

“You wanna go to the store and steal some candy bars?” I asked. There were no issues with going into a store without shoes back in the day.

“Sure.” He replied, as he dropped the fish heads and came along.

We’ve been friends ever since.

I could go on and on with adventures me and Jerome had, mostly bad ideas that we thought was a great idea at the time. And today would be no different…

Looks like I hit my word quota again…

AND NOW YOU KNOW!

Song In My Head:

COMING NEXT WEEK: The Experiment!

More Ask Bob...

Bob Senitram

Webmaster and editor of TheWeirdcrap.com. I obtained a bachelor's degree in micro-biology around the turn of the century but was quickly tracked down and forced to return it to its rightful owner and pay a $25 fine. *** A fan of science fiction, I started this website in 1999 as a portal for science fiction stories that have never been published. *** Completely devoid of talent, I decided to call on the public to supply content. Shortly afterwards Stephen and I started writing weekly columns and have continued to this day.

http://TheWeirdcrap.com

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