Before we move on to World War III, as Stephen mentioned TheWeirdcrap started long before Al Gore invented the inter-web. I’m still trying to find the first edition. When I find it, I’ll post the cover. Until then, here’s a pic of us in the early days…
Well, it’s been a long-standing tradition here at TheWeirdcrap to publish a special edition whenever there’s a World War, so here goes…
I know, it’s hard to imagine another world war in this day and age, but Putin isn’t from this day and age. Basically, he’s like my good friend Stephen Johnson. Who drinks way too much and says and does crazy shit.
Like the time I went to visit Stephen and found him face down, passed out drunk on his front lawn because he decided to mow it in 95-degree temperatures after 8 or 9 beers. Or the time I found him yelling at his neighbor because he was absolutely certain his neighbor was constructing a fence that was 2 3/4 of an inch into his property (drunk again).
Or the time Stephen yelled and cursed at the guy behind the counter of a kwik shop because he got change for a five-dollar bill but could have sworn he handed him a twenty (still drunk). Kind of makes me wonder why I bother to put up with him, but like Putin, he is what he is.
I can see Putin’s problem with the whole Ukraine thing. Having NATO forces that close to Russia’s border would be unsettling. It would have made sense for Russia, NATO, and Ukraine to set up the same deal they had when East Germany pulled from Russian. In a nutshell, it said East Germany can be in NATO, but no NATO forces in East Germany.
That would seem to make sense to all parties. But instead, we got this.
I think Putin’s plan didn’t play out the way he wanted, and now he’s mad. Simple as that. Kinda like a guy whose girlfriend broke up with him, and he made an elaborate plan to write a letter with lyrics from a cool U2 song and passing it off as his own. Something like “With or Without You” and expecting her to come running back to his arms with tears in her eyes. But she sees its just lyrics from a stupid song and thinks, what a moron…
Not that I ever did that, I’m just saying.
Here’s what I think the plan was:
- Trump is re-elected and takes the U.S. out of NATO.
- NATO would be weaker.
- Germany is dependent on Russian gas and doesn’t cooperate with NATO.
- Putin invades Ukraine and they give up because no NATO.
- Trump defends Putin, because…he’s in love. Aaaaah, amore!
- After taking Ukraine, he moves on to Poland and Hungary which is the start of WW III.
- Then everybody dies in a nuclear world war, Putin don’t care because he’s older than a dinosaur fart and he ain’t gonna live to much longer anyways.
As you know, Trump didn’t win the election. Then he didn’t succeed with his coup to take over the U.S. NATO grew stronger, Germany said, “Screw you, war monger.” and to add insult to injury Ukraine won’t give up. Since Ukraine is the only thing holding Putin’s war at bay, the fate of Europe is being decided by Ukraine.
Now Putin is mad and is reciting anti-Nazi poems by Stalin to get the world come running back to him with tears in their collective eyes. But that don’t happen which makes him even madder.
I would be very surprised if he stops with Ukraine. I think he’ll do stuff to try to edge NATO into his conflict. That would give him a reason to start attacking other nations. He’s outnumbered with NATO, but he doesn’t care.
There seems to be only one thing that brings fear into Putin’s mind. That’s the fear of an uprising within Russia. I think it’s trauma from the past. It’s a long story, but here’s the short version:
When he was a young man, Putin was trapped in a KGB building with a large rioting crowd moving closer. He was one man and there were hundreds approaching, I’m sure he was scarred shit-less. But he goes outside and confronts them anyways. Then he tells ’em he’s got a bunch of officers inside with shoot to kill orders and they fall for it and leave.
Still, being scarred for your life and using a bluff to get out of it, must have left a mark in that head of his.
That explains why he’s so strick about what Russians see and hear. He’s scarred that Russians will turn against him…HIS BIGGEST FEAR. Well actually that’s his second biggest fear, his BIGGEST-BIGGEST fear is people finding out that he has fears.
Of course, it seems unlikely Russians will revolt against Putin. When he first became President Russia was in dire straits – financially. Things got better for Russia – financially. But like raw fish left out overnight…he done gone bad and stinky.
So, what do you do when the guy who made things better, gradually goes bad. Personally, I would say he crossed the line, so I would turn on him. But that’s just me.
Plus, if Russians did revolt in large masses, the result would be brutal. It would be scarry to oppose your government when you know you’ll end up jailed or killed. They’ll use force, to make them do, what deciders, have decided, what they must do.
This puts us in a sad state because the only people that can prevent World War III is the Russian people. And they probably won’t.
So, for now, it seems the fate of Europe is in the hands of Ukraine. The fate of the world is in the hands of the Russian people.
AND NOW YOU KNOW!
COMING NEXT: A Doo-Wah-Diddy…
Song in my head: This is for all the Russian police and military folks who are ordered to arrest, fire or drop bombs on their friends, cousins, aunts, and grandma’s…