Why Dogs Eat Poo – Part VI

I get in the elevator and my guide hits a few buttons and it feels like we’re going down.

“Are we in an elevator?” I ask.

“Sure.” The guide responds.

“Then what are all these buttons? Doesn’t an elevator just go up and down?”

“Sure.”

“So, the dog race, it doesn’t survive, but some pups survive, and they can digest anything because of the scientist’s genetic manipulation…So that must be why dogs will pretty much swallow anything! This is why dogs eat poo?”

“Sort of…”

“But the dog civilization is part of Earths ancient past, and the survivors, although now primitive, still carry the eat anything gene…right?” I confirm.

“Well, they’re not exactly part of your Earths past…” He replies.

“Then where were we?”

“An alternate universe of your past, but sometimes things get a little fuzzy between universes. This never happened in your world, but yes, the dogs of your world did get the gene manipulation…it was what we call a cross-over.”

Just then the door opened.

I saw primitive humans climbing in trees.

“Are we in our past again?’

“Sure.”

We walked past the primitives to a village that looked like it was from the 14th century.

“This is a place where things collide.” My guide explains.

We walked past an alley and in the corner of my eye, I noticed a bunch of Christmas decorations and crosses with Jesuses piled up, in what looked like a flea market.

We were about 10 feet past the alley, when I thought that was kinda neat. Seeing all this Christmas stuff in this…place.

“Hey, I wanna check out the Christmas and Jesus stuff.” I say as I head back toward the alley.

Just a few seconds had passed but the alley was empty.

“Where’d all the stuff go?”

They were just examining that stuff; they don’t need it anymore.” My guide explains.

“Who?” As I ask, I see what looks like a nun walking toward a door in the alley. She was huched over, like she was really old, but I couldn’t see her face because, she had a hood that that drapped past her forhead and cast a shadow over her face. It looked like she had old-timey nun robes, but instead of black and white, it was a really dark purple. So dark you could only see the purple highlights when the light of the streetlamp caught her a certain way.

She went thru the door in the alley. She didn’t open it and walk thru, she sort of became see thru as she approached and just walked thru the closed door.

Then two more “nuns” walked past us and thru the door. Silent none of them ever spoke a work.

“Are they, are they, Angels?” I asked.

“Sure…they’re just studying the results of their experiment.” My guide replied.

“Oh, I get it, humans…humans are the experiment.”

“Not exactly, your more of a by-product of the experiment. Your more like the food in a peti dish, that feeds the bacteria which is being studied.”

“So God made the Angels, and the Angels made Earth as an experiment?” I ask.

“Close. The “Angels” made a God to see how he would treat the universe he created…I have to admit, its not going so good. They may shut the experiment down.”

“So that would destroy the world.” I say.

“Destroy is kind of a harsh way of putting it. The Universe would just not exist anymore, and neither would that long grey-haired madman.”

“Hey, that’s my God you’re talking about!” I say in a defensive manner.

“Well, yeah. But he’s kind of abusive, he gets really mad and then does horrible things. Then later, he feels bad about it and tries to make good…then after the bad and the good, he questions his own purpose and doesn’t want to do anything. He just watches and sulks about people being such assholes.”

“It’s not just Earthlings…it’s all of use. The Universe is just filled with assholes. Like I said, it’s not going so good.” My guide tells me.

“So, you’re an asshole too?” I ask.

“Nah, I’m from a completely different plane of existence. To us, you guys are like a rock in a creek. I was just curious if your world could get better if you had a bigger perspective.”

“Your interfering, that’ll make the nuns mad…” I warn.

“I guess so, but the nuns don’t affect my plane…it’s fine.” My guide confides.

AND NOW YOU KNOW!

Song in my head:

COMING NEXT: I go Joseph Smith on your Ars!

More Ask Bob...

Bob Senitram

Webmaster and editor of TheWeirdcrap.com. I obtained a bachelor's degree in micro-biology around the turn of the century but was quickly tracked down and forced to return it to its rightful owner and pay a $25 fine. *** A fan of science fiction, I started this website in 1999 as a portal for science fiction stories that have never been published. *** Completely devoid of talent, I decided to call on the public to supply content. Shortly afterwards Stephen and I started writing weekly columns and have continued to this day.

http://TheWeirdcrap.com

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