Why I have no faith

First I must apologize to St. Garion who has much more faith than I, and for that I salute him.

I, however, have no faith. You, however, must have faith. Let me explain…

I’ll start with my first memory in life.My first cognitive thought was the recognition of total blackness, nothingness, consciousness with no form. I have the feeling that I volunteered for this, and felt kinda cheated. “This is it?” I thought.”

Don’t worry, there’s more.” came the came a non-chalant reply.

“Does he have memory? Should he be aware this early?” came another uninvited voice.

“He’ll forget.” came the reply.

Next thing was like falling asleep, when I woke I was a little tike running toward the stairs. A man swept me up and held me up, his face right in mine.

“I just want to see what’s downstairs.” I said.

“Look! He thinks he’s talking.” the man said to others in the room.

“I am talking!” I yelled. I remember being frustrated.

“He’s getting mad, you better take him…” he says as he hands me to my mom.

That’s it, my first two memories. Initially these were just memories I had. Then at one point, I became aware that most people don’t remember this far back, so I kept reliving it these two primary experiences before I went to sleep, until they were ground so deep in my memory, I couldn’t forget if I wanted too.

I currently and always have believed that the first memory was a pre-birth consciousness. To me it’s impossible to forget because they happened back to back. After the second memory, I was blank until I was about four. At that point my memory is pretty much continuous.

I’ve heard folks mention that they couldn’t imagine what it would be like to remember back when they were four or five…but I do. I can’t imagine what it would be like not remembering what it was like to be five, ten, or twenty for that matter.

Back to faith. Faith is the belief in something you cannot see or experience. Since I have experienced life prior to a physical existence, I can’t have faith in something I’ve seen. It’s there, I know its there. In a way, it kind of takes some of the fun out of life. The mystery is gone…sort of like being happily married for twenty years, its good, but no more mysteries.

It doesn’t matter if you believe me, because it’s me…it’s my experience. You believe, I know. To me birth and death is a transition like becoming a teenager from child. It’s just a change, nothing to be feared. Unless you burn to death. I’m a-scarred of burning. Jesus, that would hurt like shit. I hope God knows who’s a lost cause in a fire situation and just shuts thier nerves off so they don’t hurt…I just can’t imagine that level of pain. Death, ok. Burning, not ok.

Anyway, I accepted the pre-existence concept for years, so its nothing new to me. But recently I’ve been thinking about why I know about life before and after death. The way I figure, it was either a mistake. Anyway, I just can’t resist letting folks know about this cosmic blunder.

It appears we have memories prior to existence…maybe a previous life on earth, maybe somewhere else. Doesn’t really matter much to me, somewhere else is somewhere else as far as I’m concerned.And now you know.


Bob Senitram

Webmaster and editor of TheWeirdcrap.com. I obtained a bachelor's degree in micro-biology around the turn of the century but was quickly tracked down and forced to return it to its rightful owner and pay a $25 fine. *** A fan of science fiction, I started this website in 1999 as a portal for science fiction stories that have never been published. *** Completely devoid of talent, I decided to call on the public to supply content. Shortly afterwards Stephen and I started writing weekly columns and have continued to this day.


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