Pain Killers : Pain Makers

After my second beer in 15 minutes, I can now comment in disgust about that dope fiend Rush Limbaugh. All he wants to do is get high, high, high in the midday sun. I guess it won’t be long before we find out that he’s gay.

So if “Rush is Right,” as the bumper stickers say, does that mean its ok to be hyped-up on the “junk?” I always thought he was an unwise man, but now I’m thinkin’ if he likes to get high, and I like to get high…Maybe its ok to deport all Mexicans to Mexico, start up slavery again, and let them poor lazy kids out of school and back in them coal mines and factories where they belong.

But then again, I’m not gay, so maybe he’s just full of “junked-up-shit.”

I’ll tell you who was right. Tom Cruise…yes, you heard me right. I’ll explain the sit-u-ation.

Last week I was ready for work early. So I turned on tv and watched a 1/2 hour of “Prozac Nation.” It’s a story of a manic depression, blah, blah, blah. She see’s a therapist who is useless. The I noticed all her symptoms were those of someone who has hypo-thyroidism. This is a medical condition where your thyroid is not producing a thyroid hormone, which tells your organs and metabolism to get working. If your not getting enough you can have a general lethargic feeling due to a very low metabolism, mental depression, along with organ failures. If the heart fails, that’s bad news, but other organs that work with minimum efficiency just makes you feel like crap.

Barely able to get out of bed, sunken eyes (due to malnutrition as a result of organ failure), depression, lethargic feeling…yup that’s a manic depressive all right. Now if someone with these symptoms goes to a psychiatrist…zoom, get the prozac, get drugged up.

Trust me, what you really need is a good blood work (blood testing prescribed by a real doctor). I would say 9 out of 10 cases will end up being hypo-thyroidism, in which you take, a thyroid hormone and your organs work, depression goes, energy comes and your as good as gold.

This is where Cruise was right, back a hundred years ago all you could do is talk to a depressed person and try to make them feel better. Then we found psycho-drugs, and thought it would be nice to medicate depressed folks. Which is better than nothing. But if the source of most depression is simply a failing organ, which we can compensate with a hormone drug, then talking and drugging seems kind of silly when you can fix the problem at the source.

Personally, I wouldn’t mind a little prozac now and then. I like drugs. But with moderation. I don’t want to be high 24/7 like Rush, so to me, “Rush is rotten,” and “Cruise is Close.” Get off the prozac and drugs and go to a doctor.

And now you know!

Speaking of low self esteem…

COMING NEXT: HIGH SCHOOL HYJINXS

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