A Star is Born -Part I

Follow bob on twitter or
ask bob a question!

At the request of the editor of TheWeirdcrap.com’s worldwide headquarters located somewhere in southern California, just off Ventura Highway in the Basement of a popular Southern Baptist Church; I have to post the following disclaimer (I have to admit, I haven’t read it. The editor just said it would be added to my column).

The thoughts, ideas, innuendos of this column does not reflect those of the staff and management of TheWeirdcrap.com, which is owned by Senitram Enterprises –“Specializing in YOU.”

Any characters in this column does not represent any living or deceased persons and similarities to any real person(s) is coincidental and unintentional.

Really, it’s coincidental. He doesn’t know TVs have anything other than cartoons and has never picked up a newspaper.

The views of Bob Senitram does not reflect the views of TheWeirdcrap.com’s management; however, since Bob Senitram owns Senitram Enterprises, the parent company of TheWeirdcap.com, his work is uncensored and unchanged because changing his script in any way will most likely result in immediate termination of an underpaid, under appreciated staff member.

Make one little mistake like accidentally correcting a miss-spelled word…and BANG, your fired! Without a thought, not one thought about the 10 years of your life that you’ve given to this project. The late nights with never-ending revisions and updates.

No, it doesn’t matter. You’ve made a mistake and you have to go.

You’re guilty of knowing the English language.

There, I said it. I feel so much better. Really, the guys crazy. He sits naked with a manual typewriter and a 10 inch TV tuned to Cartoon Planet, pushed right in front of it. He calls it his “computer.” He spends the whole day, sitting in front of that thing watching cartoons, types a few words between shots of whisky, rips the paper out and throws it across the room, making cartoon sound effects as it hits the wall.

If a staff member tries to enter his office; which by the way is decorated with shag carpet on the walls for noise insulation, then you’ll be greeted by having a nostalgic two gallon ceramic ashtray from the 70s thrown at your head.

Where does he keep getting these ashtrays?!

We tried to get him to use a real computer and he smashed it with a ceramic bong, threw it out the window, and fired the person who set it up.

I can’t believe someone who hasn’t been sober since 1976 owns this corporation and does absolutely nothing. His contribution to this company couldn’t be measured with an electron microscope, yet he clutches to all the rewards with his tiny midget hands.

God I hate him. I hate him! I hate him! I HATE HIM!

AAAAAAAuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

AAAAAAAuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Oh, look at the space I took up. Bob had a somewhat amusing tale to tell, but looks like there’s no more room.

We’ll just print it next week. He’ll never know, God knows he’s never visited his own web site.

COMING NEXT: The rest of the story!

Bob Senitram

Webmaster and editor of TheWeirdcrap.com. I obtained a bachelors degree in micro-biology around the turn of the century, but was quickly tracked down and forced to return it to its rightful owner and pay a $25 fine. *** A fan of science fiction, I started this website in 1999 as a portal for science fiction stories that have never been published.*** Completely devoid of talent, I decided to call on the public to supply content. Shortly afterwards Stephen and myself started writing weekly columns and have continued to this day.

http://TheWeirdcrap.com

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.