The Final Fantasy

This weeks big dump is a collection of rare stories made by yours truly. I’m not exactly PS Gifford, so you won’t find any works of art here. What you will find are some stories so meaningless, so pointless, so short, I couldn’t get our editor to approve them for Alarmingly Strange Stories – so you know they’re good.

Please enjoy.

The Crooked Picture
I entered the living room only to find my favorite photo hanging crooked from the wall. Seems like every time I look at it, it is crooked. Again, I straighten.

I take a sip of coffee and aaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is crooked.
The End

I’ll Be Back
This pimple has been getting bigger and bigger for the last three days. Yesterday, I swear I saw it move from the inside, like it was growing as I watched, and now I look in the mirror and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It moves.
The End

I’ll Be Back Part II
I squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The End

I’ll Be Back Part III : The Terror Within
A splotch of blood and puss hits the mirror. From the splotch, a black mass arises and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

A SPIDER!

I pass out.
The End

I’ll Be Back Part IV: The Final Legacy Where I Come To and Focus My Eyes On The Tiny Red Footprints Leading Away From The Dry Puss. Then They Form Tiny Red Lines.

Yup all that.

Then I focus some more and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Words!!!

They say, “I’ll get back in.”
The End

Short Stories
I have a reoccurring dream that I am finally writing down some very short stories that have been in my head for years while drinking a cup of coffee. I lift my cup to my lips and take another sip and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is happening!
The End

And now you know!

Something in the universe you’re unsure about?
ASK BOB!!!

Coming Next: THERE’S SOMETHING IN MY SOUP!!!

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