Eight is Enough.

Out of all the sayings in the Democratic Convention, “Eight is Enough” was my favorite; although I liked it when Hillary said, “No how, no way, no McCain.” I like McCain, I always have, he’s a real go-getter.

But if “Country First,” is really what he believes, why didn’t he challenge Bush in 2004? He knew he was doing a bad job, but he was willing to do whatever it took to keep a Republican in office, even though he could have done the same things Bush tried, only better.

Now he wants to be the candidate for change. I guess copying really is the best kind of flattery. I like his new running mate Tina Fey. But how is she going to keep doing her popular TV show if she’s Vice President? Maybe she’s a multi-tasker.

Kudos to McCain for canceling Mondays GOP convention. That was the right thing to do.

I also have to give Barack a shout out (what-ever that means) for his brief interview about Tina’s pregnant teenage daughter. He said, “Children are off limits.” End of quote. That was the right thing to do.

Maybe this campaign will be different after all.

That’s all I can write about that today, because I’m writing my column in pain.

Let me explain, I had a doctors appointment on Friday, and he decided that at my age (over 90), its time for me to get my prostate checked. At first I agreed, but as I lay face down on the table I got the Republican-Conservative fear in me that I might like it. So I jumped up and ran right out the door.

I should have pulled my pants up first ‘cause I only got a few feet away when I fell on my face. After nursing a bloody nose, the Doc decided to give it another go. I suggested that maybe a nice lunch at a nice restaurant would get me in the mood. He frowned and suggested I “assume the position.”

Like a teenage girl who has sworn on abstinence, I chickened out. I stood up and started pacing around the table. The Doc had KY jelly on his gloved hand as he following me and tried to talk me down, “It’s to check for prostate cancer. Early detection is important.” He assured me.

My walk changed to a nervous gallup as I listened. He kept following me, talking medical gibberish. I guess a few glops of KY fell on the floor, because I stepped on something slippery and fell again. My face hit the table, then I bounced to the floor, landing on my face again.

Before I knew it they were examining my swollen nose. Broken. Sure it hurt, but what a relief.

The cancer check was postponed for now, but next time he said he’d give me a valium.

COMING NEXT…Why does my rubber tree keep lying down?

Bob Senitram

Webmaster and editor of TheWeirdcrap.com. I obtained a bachelor's degree in micro-biology around the turn of the century but was quickly tracked down and forced to return it to its rightful owner and pay a $25 fine. *** A fan of science fiction, I started this website in 1999 as a portal for science fiction stories that have never been published. *** Completely devoid of talent, I decided to call on the public to supply content. Shortly afterwards Stephen and I started writing weekly columns and have continued to this day.


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