Shongs

Instead of writing something insightful or political, I’m going to grace you with another on of my bizarre dreams. They seem entertaining and I have them whether I want them or not, and the best thing is it requires no effort on my part!

I call this one “Shongs.”

Enjoy!

“So why me?”

“Remember the day after your surgery you were visited by a host of doctors the next day?”

“Kinda.”

“Then later a few more doctors came in, and then you took some stress tests, and x-rays, and blood samples?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Didn’t you wonder why you never got charged for almost a full days worth of tests, not to mention the hospital visit?”

“Not really, I figured if the soup don’t stink don’t stir it. I thought I just got lucky with the billing. A bookkeeping mistake.”

“Well not exactly. The first group of doctors were interns. One of those doctors was a student of Dr. Simmons,”

“OK.”

“You don’t know who Dr. Simmons is, do you?”

“Not really.”

“I’ll explain…” Dr. Wilkens, the experimental physics professor, continued, “Dr. Simmons is the leading researcher in aging research. When his student told him about your youthful appearance, Simmons became interested and ordered a variety of tests to determine your biological age compared to your chronological age.”

“OK.”

“Haven’t you ever noticed you don’t age like most people.”?

“I noticed, I just thought I was lucky.”

“Looking five years younger is lucky. Your were 62 years old and chronologically you were 35. There’s something else going on here.”

“And you want to find out what it is?”

“Eventually, but for now we want to run a few more tests.

Well they poked and drew blood and had me run on a treadmill and breath through tubes and sent me home.

I thought it was all over when they called me back a few weeks later. Next thing I know, they’re tellin’ me I’m still 35. Didn’t have any explanations, but it turns our Dr. Simmons brought my name up to that physics guy who was working on some displacement contraption. He explained the whole thing to me…

“So what happens again?”

“Time is interwoven with the universal theory of everything, which is connected to gravity, which is connected with gravitational strings. In order to span across great distances instantaneously, strings not only distort time, they can control it. Bend it to suit its needs in the universe.

At least that’s what we think.”

“OK, what about the dimensions you mentioned.”

“In order for gravitational strings to control time, they travel in and out of different dimensions, so they get a signal in our universe, jump to a different dimension – travel – then pop back to our dimension to exert its gravitational effect – instantaneously.

At first we were trying to manipulate gravitational strings to travel in time, but it turns out when our probes jump to a different dimension, tracked by the number of strings generated to get them there, they were instantaneously destroyed on the other end.

Whatever was there, something from our universe couldn’t survive. Maybe because time doesn’t exist on the other end, we don’t know. That’s when we stumbled upon 35 MS (35 mega-string dimension). If it survived the probe was designed to come back the way it left…and it did.”

“Really.”

“That’s not all, when it came back it had an etching on the side.”

“Get out of town. What was it?”

“A smiley face.”

And now you know…

COMING NEXT: SHONG PART II or WHY ME?

Bob Senitram

Webmaster and editor of TheWeirdcrap.com. I obtained a bachelor's degree in micro-biology around the turn of the century but was quickly tracked down and forced to return it to its rightful owner and pay a $25 fine. *** A fan of science fiction, I started this website in 1999 as a portal for science fiction stories that have never been published. *** Completely devoid of talent, I decided to call on the public to supply content. Shortly afterwards Stephen and I started writing weekly columns and have continued to this day.

http://TheWeirdcrap.com

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