The Devil Made Me Do It.

On the day I died, I was expecting a big meeting with Angelic attorneys that would put me on a trial. The Godly prosecutors would argue I shouldn’t go to heaven and my defense team would argue that basically I’m an ok guy and I should be allowed in.

But instead I found myself in a Casino.

I was wondering around aimlessly because I don’t know anything about gambling, when a voice came to me, “You weren’t very protective and now you need to learn.”

“So…” I thought in a confused state.

“So you are going to be the caregiver for these two patrons of this Casino.”

I looked and saw two gambling ladies.

“Well, Ok.” I thought.

Then one of the two ladies I was responsible for yelled at me, “Hey, money boy. I’m out of money! Get me some chips.”

“Ok.” I said as I hurried to the money for chip teller.” I pulled out my wallet and saw there was no shortage of cash. I got chips for one hundred dollars and ran back to the patrons.

“A HUNDRED DOLLARS! I can’t get by on a hundred dollars! Get me more!”

So I ran back and got two more hundred dollars worth of chips. On my way to the patrons, I saw a statue of a golden bull who slowly turned his head toward me and then maintained his stance as if it were not alive. I knew it was trouble.

I ran to the patron who was demanding money and tilted my head toward the bull. “I think he’s gonna charge.” I said.

The other patron spoke up, “There’s a decorative sword on the wall to your left. When he charges, run toward the sword, grab it and chop of its head. That should take care of that!”

The bull slowly walked off its stand, tilted his head from side to side, cracked his neck and looked right at me. The crowd started running in all directions as the Golden Bull started to snort and scratch his front hoof on the rug.

He charged right at me and I ran. Unfortunately all I thought about was getting away didn’t know I was running in the opposite direction of the sword. To my surprise, he charged right toward the two ladies I was supposed to protect.

I stopped.

With my heart pounding and no real plan in mind, I ran in front of the two ladies to intercept the Bull. He changed his direction to chase me. I ran a few feet, jumped on a crap table and just as the bull was about to smash it, I leapt into the air.

In a slow motion scene that would have made Quinton Tarrantino jealous I floated in the air, somersaulted over the bull and the crashing table and landed right next to the sword. The crowd around me clapped for a job well done.

Turning toward the wall I grabbed the sword and turned around prepared to chop his head off.

However, when I turned I did not see the bull. He transformed to a Asian man in a white suite with a sword of his own.

I looked up and there he was suspended in air looking down at me with the tip of his sword at my nose. He raised the sword with both hands and swung.

I closed my eyes and held the sword straight up…”Ching!” I blocked his swing.

He twirled in mid air and took another swing.

“Ching.” Another accidental block.

“Ching, ching, ching-ching, ching.” The crafted swings were coming from above in all directions. I took a few steps back. I looked toward the patrons I need to protect, only to be met with a, “Well, chop his head off…” look.

Finally I turned and ran while yelling, “I don’t know nothin’ about this shiiiiiiiit!”

Stopping I saw the man floating toward the two patrons with his sword drawn.

With a change of heart, I ran toward the man from behind and leapt into the air. He turned toward me. Just as his eyes me mine, I swung my sword.

Swoosh, his head rolled off his shoulders.

Instantly I became transparent and began to float upwards. “What’s happened?” I said in my head.

“A change of heart.” came the reply.

COMING NEXT…Who’s on first?

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