Phil Barry (Chicago, IL) asks:” My Professor says ‘Yes.’ My Pastor says,’ No.’ My Mother says, ‘Get a job.’ Who am I to believe? Is evolution real or not? Did Dinosaurs walk the Earth? They looked real in ‘Jurassic Park.’ HELP! I MUST KNOW!”
Your question brings memories of my country (Nebraska). In my country, people don’t run around asking silly questions of evolution, de-evolution, maggots and faggots. No sir-ree. Life is hard in Nebraska and we just don’t have the time.
In my country, we jump in our pick-up trucks and faithfully follow anything that has “Big Red” printed on it. If it ain’t an accessory to my pick-up (like a “Harry Husker” mud flap) or if it ain’t about Corn husker Football, then I just don’t need to know. My memories of Nebraska are still vivid in my mind. Soakin’ up some rays in a sand dune off the Platte River, scraping mud and pollution off my body after an afternoon swim.
Hey, wait a minute. I just got home from St. George Island – still got sand between my toes.
Now that was nice.
Forget what I just said. My country sucked.
Corn huskers? Well, they suck too.
Now what was the question?
Oh yeah, sure – Dinosaurs.
I’m pretty sure they are real ’cause I got me a picture of one off the Internet. How can you have a picture of somethin’ that don’t exist? (Photographic proof below).
Now to be positive, I ‘figure’ it would be best to ask someone who knows. Someone who was actually there. So I looked up a previous interview that I did with ex-President Ronald Reagan. Sure enough right there on tape I asked him what he remembered about eons gone by. Here’s a transcript of his answer:
Me: And so, well. Well, when you were little, like growing up…well, did you ever see a dinosaur?
RR: Gerbity-Slurba. (Dribble dripped off his chin)
Me: (Louder) DINOSAURS! DID YOU EVER SEE DINOSAURS!
RR: Sure, (girbidy-slurba, splat) Everyone in show business knew Dinah Shore…(He then rambled on, spat and dribbled for another half hour while telling us about Dinah Shore).
I hope you found this interview as informative as I did.
Regardless of what the experts say, when I asked former President Ronald Reagan if he ever saw Dinosaurs he said, “Sure…”
Can’t get more official than that. There you have it, more proof.
And now you know.
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