Dear Bobby,

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR:
Usually Bob answers the mysteries of the world and universe in his column but for some reason he’s gotten relationship questions, so that kind of makes him like Ann Landers or Dear Abby. Oh well, we’ll go along with that.

Tammy from CA writes:

Bob,The other day my husband came home without any underware. At first I thought bad thoughts and thought he might be cheating. Then he says, he had an accident and didn’t want to talk about it anymore.Should I be worried?

Then someone else added to the Ask Bob Comments link:

I’ll tell you why he didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t have a good excuse!deadbeat.

Dear Tammy,

I wouldn’t read too much into it. I’ve lost an entire pair of pants ten years ago, I still don’t know where they are. I wasn’t cheating on nobody or anything…I just drink too much. Still I don’t remember going home without any pants, it’s just a mystery in my book. Luckily, my girlfriend at the time never noticed that I stopped wearing those stylish brown corduroy pants.

But one time in my younger days, I was working in a warehouse, and farted while climbing shelves to make room to store stuff. I didn’t think much of it until I notice a moist warm comforting feeling on my bottom.

Although the feeling brought back fond memories of lying in me momma’s arms, this was no time to reminesce. I ran to the toilet to check out the damage. Sure enough I had a good dose of smelly Hershey squirt on my underpants.

Immediately I thought of the healthy dose of frito-pie eaten the night before and the six bottles of cheap beer. I made a mental note to never mix those two together and cleaned up and wrapped up my smelly under ware in paper towels and threw it away.

I had to free-ball the rest of the day and to tell the truth it kind-a felt good. But I was still embarrassed about pooping my pants. I sure didn’t run to my girl friends house and tell her about it.

That’s probably exactly what happened to your man. Don’t bother him about it.

Kat from Michigan:

dear bob,
i like my friend but he likes my friend, Katie. he always finds the need to talk about her with me and ask my advice. what should i do?

Dear Kat,

Seem like advice for him is only with for her, so she don’t know whut’s up about it so then it should be for him.

Now for the non-text messaging generation:

Kat likes a guy who she thinks likes her friend.

But does he really like her friend or is he using her friend as an excuse to talk to Kat.

Or, does he like your friend and he’s considers you to have the “inside scoop.”

Perhaps he likes someone that you don’t know, but your friend Katie knows like the back of her hand, so he wants to use your friendship to get to know Katie, so he can get to know Katie’s other friend.

Or maybe he really, really likes you but he’s inexperienced with the ladies, so he wants to date your friend to get experience, make his mistakes, then approach you, experienced and seasoned.

Or maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about. You’ll just have to go by your gut feeling.

And now you know…

Remember, if you have a question to “Ask Bob”, don’t forget to tell us where your from, like Denver, or China, or whatever…I like to include it!

Click –> Ask Bob Sumthin’!

COMING NEXT: IS IT THE END OF THE WORLD OR IS THAT PAPER CLIP UNDER MY DESK.

More Ask Bob...

Bob Senitram

Webmaster and editor of TheWeirdcrap.com. I obtained a bachelor's degree in micro-biology around the turn of the century but was quickly tracked down and forced to return it to its rightful owner and pay a $25 fine. *** A fan of science fiction, I started this website in 1999 as a portal for science fiction stories that have never been published. *** Completely devoid of talent, I decided to call on the public to supply content. Shortly afterwards Stephen and I started writing weekly columns and have continued to this day.

http://TheWeirdcrap.com

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