Give to the UCVF

Today I am going to discuss a very serious issue that will effect many Americans this year.

Last week the President I once supported, mandated the first stage toward a socialist state by forcing businesses that request government bailout money to put a crippling cap on the salaries of corporate executives.

Yes, I’m talking about the $500,000 salary cap on executives. Just because blacks and other minorities have salary caps, it doesn’t mean everyone should. I am neither an executive or a Caucasian, but a simple man who understands that the lords who run large corporations are in their positions for a reason.

They are simply physically and mentally better than I.

And better than you, too.

It’s genetics. A woman from Cuba once explained it too me. Poor people are poor for a reason, they dull-minded simpletons and are genetically inferior to rich people.

It’s as simple as that.

And that’s why we must all sacrifice everything to the white lords who run corporate America. Only they, in their superior greatness, can save us and our country. Even those who rode on their daddy’s coat tails and don’t have basic math skills or knowledge, can accomplish more than the smartest, poorest, professor.

As George Bush has taught us all, when a person makes a multi-million dollar decision, he don’t need a bunch of facts to confuse the issues, he don’t need to calculate variables, he don’t need no “expert” advice.

What that person needs is “intuition”. Yup, don’t need nuthin’ else. You poor folks wouldn’t understand, its somethin’ your born with. Or should I say its somethin’ rich folks are born with.

Anyways, those folks who need that bailout money are gonna have to take a big pay cut. And that brings me to another concern.

Who will mend the broken wings of the eagles who soared so high on Wall Street?

These tender flowers need to be nurtured. You can’t make a rose bush bloom by hitting it with a stick, you need to give it everything it needs and wants if you expect it to grow.

Sure a lot of folks can’t pay their mortgage right now, but I’m not talking about intangible things like house payments, I’m talking about what’s really-real.

Feelings.

These folks have had their feelings hurt really bad and we all need to show some compassion. Right now at this very moment, an executive is sitting in his home feeling alone and neglected.

And that is why I want everyone to give generously to the United Corporate Vacation Fund.

Help an executive get back on his feet by helping him help himself.

Whether it’s that much needed vacation or little lift he gets from a prostitute, each dollar will go to a deserving executive who can no longer provide the kind of rest and relaxation he deserves.

Today I spoke with a Wall Street employee named “Todd.” Todd wants to make
good decisions that will help our economy and in turn help the whole
country.

But he can’t.

You see, Todd can’t
relax. His mind is all blurry with “fuzzy-math” figures.

Todd desperately needs a vacation to someplace warm. Maybe a
beach.

But Todd can’t afford to go.

Won’t YOU help Todd today?

Pick up the phone and say, “I wan’t to help.” Our operators are standing by to take your call.

I wish Todd was our only story but there are ten, twenty, maybe even a hundred people who need your help right now.

So please give generously to the United Corporate Vacation Fund, because paid time off is a terrible thing to waste.

COMING NEXT…Dream, dream, dream!

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