Who is that guy?

Bill writes:
So who is this Stephen guy who writes the other column?

Bob writes:
Dear Bill,
Although you may hear otherwise on TV or other web sites, Stephen is the “O.B.” The original blogger. He thought of the idea of writing blogs back in 1999, but they weren’t posted until 2000 as you can find on our archives. It was his idea to write the blogs and to store the archives of everything we’ve written. This is the only worthwhile thing he has ever done in his life.

Mean Mr. Stephen sleeps in the park,
shaves in the dark, trying to save paper.

Yells about the holes in the road,
always keeps a tin-box up his nose.

Such a mean old man.
Such a mean old man.

His lady Pam works in the shop,
she never stops, she’s a go-getta’.

Takes him out to visit the King,
always yells out something obsene.

Such a dirty old man.
Such a dirty old man.

And that’s all I got to say bout him.

How To Live Forever,
or if not that, for a really long time.

By Bob Senitram

It’s a long story but 30 years ago, I had real trouble with my sinuses and acne. This guy I knew turned me on to vitamins, under the pretense that vitamin C really helps in the winter when you have colds. I had spent my entire live being sick all through winter, but the vitamin C really helped. I still got sick, but not for as long as usual.

So I started randomly taking other vitamins, so see if I noticed anything. When I took vitamin E, my acne cleared up within a week. When I stopped it came back. So I kept taking it. So every day I took one vitamin C pill and one Vitamin E pill and low and behold, ten years later I still looked like I was twenty.

So when I went to college, I did a biology paper about the aging process and aging research. I found that anti-oxidants, really seem to play a major roll. Then I learned that there was strong evidence that vitamin E helped neutralize the anti-oxidants from within each cell then it is transported, like many other waste materials into the cell membrane. Then vitamin C seems to take the waste material from the cell membranes where it can be flushed out of your system.

For me, it just seemed like dumb luck.

Although the results were not definite, ten years later there’s lots of talk, research, and products pushing anti-oxidants, so I seemed to be on the right track. Now, I’m approaching 50 and last week I was carded for beer at Hy-Vee. The teller said they are required to card anyone who looked under 30.

Personally, I think that combination facilitates cell production and helps maintain the elasticity of skin, so you feel and look young.

And there you have it, eternal youth for about ten dollars a month.

COMING NEXT: I hope I have a good dream, cause I got nothin’ planned.

Bob Senitram

Webmaster and editor of TheWeirdcrap.com. I obtained a bachelor's degree in micro-biology around the turn of the century but was quickly tracked down and forced to return it to its rightful owner and pay a $25 fine. *** A fan of science fiction, I started this website in 1999 as a portal for science fiction stories that have never been published. *** Completely devoid of talent, I decided to call on the public to supply content. Shortly afterwards Stephen and I started writing weekly columns and have continued to this day.


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