“ARE…YOU…INSANE…” Bel counters. “Trump has been nothing but trouble since day one…who in thier right mind wants that again…”
“I gotta. Besides, folks like us need to stick together, you know, support each other.” Bob returns.
“You mean fat people?” Bel asks.
“You mean stupid people?”
“People losing their hair?
“No…you know, people in the orange jump suite club.” I explain.
“Oh, convicted felons.”
“Exactly!” I reply. “The way I figure it, Trump will finish his campaign from a jail cell. Us “Cons” need to stick together.”
“Serves you right, trying to rob a convenience store to raise money to pay for your bat in the attic problem.” Bel returns while laughing. “You really do have bats in the belfry!”
“Look, that was all Stephen’s idea. Besides, I didn’t “rob” nobody, it was an agreement.” I explain. “Like I told the judge, he agreed to give me all the money in the cash register, and I agreed not to shoot him…you know, a gentleman’s agreement.”
“Nice explanation, too bad the judge didn’t buy it. You fought the law and the law won!” Bel chimes in. “‘An agreement’, That’s exactly what Republicans are trying to say about slavery. It wasn’t really slavery, but an agreement. When Republicans start talking about bringing back slavery, that’s where I draw the line.”
“They’re never going to bring back slavery. There’ll be riots in the streets. Riots in the streets.” I reply.
“That’s what you said about abortion.” Bel returns. “Oh, no, congress doesn’t need to pass a law to legalize abortion because it was a Supreme Court ruling, and the Supreme Court never reverses thier decisions…that’s what you said. And what happened, they reversed thier decision and now abortion is illegal again. I tell ya, that’s just the first step.”
“That’s different, bringing back abortion was always theoretically possible. I propose bringing back slavery is theoretically impossible.”
“It seems theoretically impossible, but I propose it is possible.” Bel replies.
“Ok, so how do you propose this theoretical possibility comes to pass?” I inquire.
“Baby steps, it all occurs over time in baby steps. First, they bring back debtor’s prison. A company that you owe money too takes you to court and you land up in jail.”
“Ok, so far so good. I’ll go along with that. But how does that lead to slavery?” I ask.
“I’m glad you asked, Bob. The corporations can pay off an individual’s debt, under the condition that the person is still detained in a company facility until the debt is paid off.”
“Ok, ok.” I inject.
“Those individuals are legally bound to work for the corporation until their debt is paid back. And here’s the real money maker…The living expenses are more than what they get paid. So, their debt is never paid off. That person is legally bound to work for them for the rest of their lives…and that my friend is slavery.”
“Ok, I concede that it is a possibility…but far-fetched in my book.” I reply.
“Far-fetched huh, like making abortion illegal again.” Bel states in a matter-of-fact sort of way.
“I’m still not convinced. But I have to vote for Trump regardless…I gotta.” I explain.
“And why is that, Bob?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
“No really, why do you HAVE TO vote for Trump if he runs.”
“I’m embarassed to say.”
“I got a box of sugar cubes, with your name on it…” Bel teases as he takes a fresh box of cubes from a bag.
Bel knows I can’t resist sugar…I got no self-control, so I agree to tell him the whole story and he gives me 3 sugar cubes….
AND NOW YOU KNOW!
Song in my head:
COMING NEXT! Why does Bob HAVE TO vote for Trump?
A new Ask Bob column every Friday!