I AM OUTRAGED!!!
But before I get into that, let me give you a little history…
Long ago and far away, in a land that predates TCH laced Gummy Worms, I used to smoke me a little weed now and then.
Aside from making me stupid, it always, without fail made me incredibly sleepy. Which might explain the stupidness, everyones stupid when they’re tired.
My high sleepiness didn’t go unnoticed and soon I had earned the nick-name “Sleepy-Bob.”
Then one day, for no particular reason, I got tired of being dead tired and high all the time. I took a walk in a wooded area with my “pot-rolling” paraphernalia and bongs and I just threw them as far as I could.
And that was that.
That was over 20 years ago, and I hadn’t smoked pot since. I had and old friend who smoked all the time. But he was a more nervous and jumpy than a chichiwawa. Pot was fine for him, self medicating, for the most part it just him normal. But for me, nope.
The side effects of smoking was so negative, quiting was easier than I expected. Of course I had to stop hanging out with my stoner friends, which was good for me but probably bad for them, because in my sleepiness I always voted against participating in some nonsense that would end up getting us thrown in jail. I wasn’t trying to be the voice of reason at the time, I was just tired and always said, “Naw, I’d rather just chill here an watch tv until bedtime.”
As years flew by, I noticed, even without the pot, I was getting more fatigued on a regular basis with each passing year.
So I go to the doctor and take blood tests and a stress test for the heart. I got low blood pressure due to a bad thyroid. A bad thyroid has different affects on different people, but for me, it made me tired all the time. And it gave me wicked low blood pressure. So I take the throid medicine for a few months and report back to the doc, and I still got the low blood pressure.
At this time I need to explain that I wasn’t seeing the best doctor in the world. This same doc examined a co-worker who had a big lump on her neck, and he told her it was probably just female hormones acting up. She got a second opinion and it was a cancer which she had removed and luckily it didn’t spread. She’s fine to this very day, but what a crack-pot doc.
So this same doctor examined me and ran tests and found no clogged arteries or overweightness, so he was stumped. As a last resort, he prescribed one hour of Fox News a day with at least 30 minutes of Facebook. He said those social networks would get my heart a-pumpin like it should. I was left with strict instructions to search stuff I don’t like on facebook and they would do the rest.
And now, thanks to Fox and Friends which I watch every morning, I AM OUT-RAGED!!! It’s Biden, he’s is the source of all evil, and he created all things bad in the world!!! But it’s not just him, it’s all those Communist Democrats and everything else…OUTRAGE!!!
Except when it comes to soft tacos, I like soft tacos. Before, you tried to eat a taco and it crumbled and fell apart in your hands…IT WASN’T EVEN WORTH IT…IT MAD ME OUTRAGED!!! But now, thanks to who-ever it was at Taco Bell who invented the soft taco, I can eat one without it falling apart. But thoughts like that are bad for my blood pressure, so I remain OUTRAGED, that no one thought of it sooner!
I’M ALSO OUTRAGED ABOUT THOSE HARD-SHELL TACO’S…WHAT THE HELL?!
I’m so glad he suggested the facebook. I now realize that Covid-19 was caused by the farts of alien-butt-babies who live in China. Our planet is crawling with aliens who want the United States to go broke so they can take over the planet. All because of Biden-baby-eating-aetheist’s who want to force thier socialist agenda on citizens while they spread covid with vaccines that are laced with alien-butt-baby farts.
WE HAVE TO STOP THEM WITH OUR COMBINED OUTRAGE!!!
P.S. My last visit to the doctors yeilded positive results, as my heart rate has increased and my blood pressure is up!
Good news right?
No, not really, because I know increasing my heart rate is part of some evil alien plot. I haven’t figured out what it is yet, but I AM OUTRAGED over the very idea…I’ll have to search it on facebook to find out the skinny!
AND NOW YOU KNOW!
Coming next: I switch to the Republican GOP and praise the concept of the new American Dictatorship lead by our faithful leader Trump, the new messiah.
Here’s the song in my head…I don’t know what Mississippi has been up to lately, but God Damn!