Today’s column is twice as long because I’m not going to post another until Febuary so that I can work on some of the technical aspects of our sister site, http://www.MyStrangeStories.com.
Last night I had a dream that I worked in a restaurant and the owner put me in charge of cutting up vegetables for soup, which was good by me because I like soup.
It was called “People Soup” and was shipped off to shelters to help feed the people.
Then the owner says I’ve been promoted to meat cutter and slaps a mans hand on the counter and tells me to start cutting. I look at the hand, “I didn’t know the soup was people.”
“That’s why it’s called ‘People Soup’ you friggin’ moron…now start choppin’! By the way, you can take the guys wedding ring off and ‘hock it’. Consider that a bonus.”
So I grab the hand and chop each finger into nice little dices, same way I do carrots. Then I take the base of the hand and chop that up into nice small pieces. It made me a little squirmy, but as long as I didn’t have to eat it.
Then on the way home I notice I’m being followed. I try to lose the guy but fail. Finally, he meets me up at my place and says he’s from the FBI.
“So why you followin’ me?” I ask.
“People Soup” he says.
“Oh, Jeez…I got nuthin’ to do with that, I just chop veggies.”
“We think you may be the serial killer we’ve been hunting for the last two years.”
“You. You…think. I. My boss is serving dead people as an entrée’ and you think I’m a serial killer?” I say as I roll my eyes.
“You’re a friggin’ moron.” I mutter as I slam the door in the idiot’s face.
COMING NEXT…New and improved!