Guest Writers

Lunatic Columns, Blogs, Nonsense

We’ve been writing our columns since 1999!

Lunatic Ravings | Spamrider of the Apocalypse | Chick Shit | Crap Considered | Guest Writers | Column Archives

This page features recent samples of each writer.

Why are we obsessed with writing columns/stories that hardly anyone reads?
We don’t know.

But if you enjoy thought provoking opinions or serious literature, then you wandered down the wrong alley.
This is Tic Tok in written form.

What follows may include opinions disguised as facts, facts disguised as jokes, and bad writing disguised as fiction.

This garbage goes back to 1999 and is rarely seated in reality, which makes it timeless.
So pay a visit to the older stuff. It isn’t so much about reading about the world 20 years ago.
It’s more about what a knuckle headed freak of nature was thinkin about way back when.

Click the Archives link for a quarter century’s worth of gibberish that just might put a smile on your face.

Crap Considered

  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 10!
    by admin
    By Bob SenitramBringing the nonsense to light… That night, Cannibal Hector escaped. A daring escape involving cunning, patience, blood, gore, and the eating of faces. Not really. Actually, he leaned…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 9
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramNon-stop nonsense for your reading pleasure… Previously, Dr. Benson heard about the warden’s deal with the Senator and sent Bob to meet with Dr. Hector. Bob shows up…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 8
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramI’m Bob Senitram and I like to tell stories… That night in the basement of Hopalong Hank… Hopalong is lowering a basket tied to a rope into a…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 7
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, before you do… “So you’re here to visit Dr. Hector for the third time. Didn’t he make a fool of you twice already? The…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 6
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, before you do… Bob finished up his report and went back to Virginia to complete his training. A few days later, he’s watching the…

Lunatic Ravings

  • The Journey To HR, Part 116!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Suddenly, Bob sat up. The applause and my crying stopped. He looked at me. “We made a movie about 60 or 70 years ago,” he said. “Do you remember that?”…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 115!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Bob pointed at me. “You! You I remember,” he said, giving another evil laugh. “Gosh. Really?” I responded, getting a little bit bored with this whole thing. “When I was…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 114!
    by Stephen Johnson
    After a few minutes of joyous silence…… “Where am I?” Bob asked, wakening up again. “A safe place,” said the HR lady, trying to hide her smile. “Have I been…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 113!
    by Stephen Johnson
    “Me?” I asked in quite the innocent way. “Yes, YOU!” Bob shouted, trying to get to his logged feet. He failed and lay back down. “YOUUUUUUUUU………..” he hissed, and pointed…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 112!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Bob sat up. “Where am I?” he asked. “My office,” the HR lady said, quickly hiding the needles behind her back. “Wow,” Bob said, rubbing his head with logged fingers.…

Spamrider

  • You Better You Bet
    by Spamrider
    You can literally bet on almost anything now.  And I’m not using “literally” in that post-ironic sense where literally means literally the opposite of itself. You can literally literally bet…
  • Buried Memories
    by Spamrider
    I had planned something else this week but Bob and Stephen’s recent columns jarred loose an old memory buried in my noggin that I hadn’t thought about in years. It…
  • Stephen Hawking is a Dick
    by Spamrider
    On June 28, 2009, Stephen Hawking famously threw a party for Time Travellers. The whole shtick was he didn’t put out the invitations until after the party had already ended.…
  • Still More Future History
    by Spamrider
    Somewhere deep in the swamps of the malaria-infested jungles of a country whose name I shan’t divulge dwelled the man I had travelled across great distances in both time and…
  • The Last Poodle on Earth
    by Spamrider
    I haven’t wanted to write about this because the wound is still fresh, but unfortunately my Time Portal got destroyed. It was that damn Poodle that I rescued from The…

Lunatic Column Archives

Visit the archives to discover columns by other writers such as P.S. Gifford, Bel Garion, Melissa Paternick, and Brian Petre. This content has absolutely nothing to do with reality, so it doesn’t really matter when they were published.

You like to jot down stuff just for the fun of it? Feel free to submit a column!