Guest Writers

Lunatic Columns, Blogs, Nonsense

We’ve been writing our columns since 1999!

Lunatic Ravings | Spamrider of the Apocalypse | Chick Shit | Crap Considered | Guest Writers | Column Archives

This page features recent samples of each writer.

Why are we obsessed with writing columns/stories that hardly anyone reads?
We don’t know.

But if you enjoy thought provoking opinions or serious literature, then you wandered down the wrong alley.
This is Tic Tok in written form.

What follows may include opinions disguised as facts, facts disguised as jokes, and bad writing disguised as fiction.

This garbage goes back to 1999 and is rarely seated in reality, which makes it timeless.
So pay a visit to the older stuff. It isn’t so much about reading about the world 20 years ago.
It’s more about what a knuckle headed freak of nature was thinkin about way back when.

Click the Archives link for a quarter century’s worth of gibberish that just might put a smile on your face.

Crap Considered

  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 7
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, before you do… “So you’re here to visit Dr. Hector for the third time. Didn’t he make a fool of you twice already? The…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 6
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, before you do… Bob finished up his report and went back to Virginia to complete his training. A few days later, he’s watching the…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 5
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, and then some… Later that day Bob visits Dr. Hector. “Hello, Dr. Hector.” “Special Agent Senitram, how nice to see you. Did you follow…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 4
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, ’cause, that’s my job… Bob just made it to the exit gate when Hector calls out. “Agent Senitram! I can give you more than…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 3
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, ’cause I got nothin’ else to do… Bob makes his flight to Huston and enters the infamous prison and approaches the first man he…

Lunatic Ravings

  • The Journey To HR, Part 113!
    by Stephen Johnson
    “Me?” I asked in quite the innocent way. “Yes, YOU!” Bob shouted, trying to get to his logged feet. He failed and lay back down. “YOUUUUUUUUU………..” he hissed, and pointed…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 112!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Bob sat up. “Where am I?” he asked. “My office,” the HR lady said, quickly hiding the needles behind her back. “Wow,” Bob said, rubbing his head with logged fingers.…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 111!
    by Stephen Johnson
    The room was silent as we all thought about what we had just said. “You’ll die,” I said softly. Bob nodded, quite spastically. He reached his logged arms out to…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 110!
    by Stephen Johnson
    “Where am I?” Bob asked after he was done with the belching, groaning and flatulence. The HR lady walked over to him and looked down. “IN MY OFFICE!” she declared.…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 109!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Two of the burly men left the room. The rest of us milled around aimlessly, sometimes stepping on Bob’s lifeless body, sometimes not. After a bit, the two burly men…

Spamrider

  • Still More Future History
    by Spamrider
    Somewhere deep in the swamps of the malaria-infested jungles of a country whose name I shan’t divulge dwelled the man I had travelled across great distances in both time and…
  • The Last Poodle on Earth
    by Spamrider
    I haven’t wanted to write about this because the wound is still fresh, but unfortunately my Time Portal got destroyed. It was that damn Poodle that I rescued from The…
  • Some Good Words to Know
    by Spamrider
    They say that knowledge is power, but that doesn’t mean it keeps the lights on. Regardless, for this week’s column I have compiled a list of good words to know…
  • The New Devil’s Dictionary
    by Spamrider
    Cat (n):  Man’s best frenemy.
  • DO NOT BE ALARMED
    by Spamrider
    DO NOT BE ALARMED There is a seven and 33/42nds dimension beyond that which is known to Science. It is a dimension as vast and timeless as infinity and twice…

Lunatic Column Archives

Visit the archives to discover columns by other writers such as P.S. Gifford, Bel Garion, Melissa Paternick, and Brian Petre. This content has absolutely nothing to do with reality, so it doesn’t really matter when they were published.

You like to jot down stuff just for the fun of it? Feel free to submit a column!