Immigration, beer drinking, and everything in-between

Like everything, politicians have made the immigration thing a thousand times more complicated than it needs to be. Because I’m a nice guy, I’ll provide a simple model of how to fix it. Keep in mind, this is off the top of my head so some details will need to be worked out.

First, take resonable steps to secure our borders. By reasonable, I mean increase patrols enough to slow down traffic, but don’t go into massive debt over it. Get rid of the vigilante skin-heads who “try to help.” Taking the law into your own hands with firearms is against the law, they need to be arrested.

Second, make a US identification with a picture id available from the DMV to migrant workers who can produce official Mexican or American ID with a photo. Put a bar code on it or a magnetic strip. We can even charge for it like a driver’s license so the system pays for itself. Keep the ID number and photo on a secure federal data base that can be accessed via secure internet by employers. If a resident found guilty of a crime, that id (with photo) is flagged and that person is deported. An ID will not be available to this person any longer and the current ID will get him immediately deported.

This way, the next time we, or someone we know, takes a hit in a drive-by, we can rest assured it was done by a good ol’ AMERICAN gang member and not some Mexican gang member.

Next, set a deadline to get ID’d. Beyond that date, any non-national without an ID is deported.

Fourth, Fine an employer $2000 a head for each non-national who is employed without official ID beyond the deadline. If the company fined is a contractor for a larger corporation, the corporation will be fined $2000 for each incident, up to one level and the cost of lettuce will increase by 50 cents.

That’s basically it, here are some more details.

If the worker has id, but it is invalid and the invalid status was available on the federal web site, then the companies will be fined 1/2 the regular fine or $1000. Thus, it will be the employer’s responsibility not to hire folks without or with false id.

The reason why a contracting corporation or a parent company to one level is fined, is this makes it attractive for that corporation to use its resources to provide quality assurance to the smaller companies. This way the companies pay for computers to check id’s and the government doesn’t end up footing the bill. Furthermore, with fines this high business will not hire someone without id’s.

If an undocumented worker can’t find work, word will get around and folks won’t come without id. Mexicans don’t do what don’t work. Plain and simple. Right now, sneaking in works, so that’s what they do. Some folks give a border runner a half years salary to get them across the border and it’s a dangerous risk.

If you had the choice of getting an ID for $5 or risking your life for 500 times more money, which would you do? Like I said Mexicans do what works.

This plan is almost too logical. I think Americans have an irrational fear of Mexicans and will react with knee jerk diplomacy based on fear…and it won’t work.

Here’s why, Black people were successfully made slaves and then driven to poverty. Native Americans were defeated and then driven to poverty. But Mexicans were not defeated and their collective will has not been broken. They are the indigenous people of Central America, and they took their country back. Instead of staying in poverty like they are supposed too, they work their way out, and each generation gets better. I think this makes a lot of Americans nervous.

But then again everything makes us American’s nervous, we can’t eat a delicious steak dinner without worring about constipation, diarrhea, or food poisoning.

Speaking of projectile vomiting, this guy wants to win $1000 worth of beer, by winning a bet that he can’t get a billion people to visit his web site. Its for beer!!! So support the bum and give him a click once a week. The web is!

Coming next: It’s easy if you know how!

Bob Senitram

Webmaster and editor of I obtained a bachelor's degree in micro-biology around the turn of the century but was quickly tracked down and forced to return it to its rightful owner and pay a $25 fine. *** A fan of science fiction, I started this website in 1999 as a portal for science fiction stories that have never been published. *** Completely devoid of talent, I decided to call on the public to supply content. Shortly afterwards Stephen and I started writing weekly columns and have continued to this day.

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