The time is almost here!!! In a couple of days I will officially become a freak!!!
In the meantime, it’s training time for me. Thank goodness I took that drug that caused my wonderful deformity because prison is pretty boring.
Before my boob grew, I would wake up at 6 am every day, pee and go get some breakfast. I am on a cellblock that consists of 20 cells that can hold two people and a dayroom where we basically hang out throughout the entire day unless there’s a fight and then we’re forced to go back to our cells while the women that were fighting are hosed down with very cold water. This happens about twice a week, so it isn’t too bad.
After breakfast, I sit around with the other prisoners and watch tv and drink coffee. There is a huge vat of coffee that is brought to the dayroom every morning and it seems to never run out throughout the day. Maybe it’s all the caffeine that’s causing all the fights, but it’s probably because some prisoner touches another prisoner’s bitch and then all hell breaks loose.
We mostly sit around and play spades, and it’s a good thing that I’m a good learner because I was slapped around a bit my first week when I tried to play and kept making mistakes. I deserved to be slapped, so I wasn’t too upset.
The only time that the dayroom becomes quiet is when “The Price is Right” comes on. What a great show!!! Plus, those models are absolutely beautiful and have been the subject of many conversations especially late at night after the lights have been turned off.
Then it’s lunch time and I maybe would catch a quick nap or read a book from the prison library, then dinner time and then bedtime. As you can see, it’s basically like the life of a normal person!!!
Now I practice my routine all day and some of the other prisoners watch, as long as Bob Barker isn’t on the tv. I think they’re in awe of me since I have received lots of cigarettes and candy bars, plus a few “late night invitations”. I’ll let you use your imagination to figure out what happens during those “invitations” and, if you’re really, really good, I’ll tell you about it one day!!!
See ya!!!
NEXT WEEK: The time has come!!!!
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