Just for you.
Have you ever wanted to murder someone?
Please, please, read on for I am deadly serious.
So, I shall repreat the simple question- have you ever wanted to murder someone?
I don’t mean wished them dead… But actually seriously considered the process of killing. Lay in bed at night and played with the tantalizing concept? Contemplated strangulation, poisoning or a good old-fashioned bloody stabbing?
I know that notion undoubtedly makes you feel uncomfortable. I know also that you are squirming in your seat as you sit there in front of your computer, but please endure with me a smidgen longer. You have to admit that the notion of killing someone on some level excites you, doesn’t it? Come on, be honest, deep down, a little part of you is crying out.
“You betcha… You betcha I have wanted to effing kill someone.”
Well, as I have said, I also wanted someone dead. And trust me, I did not want it to be quick, I wanted it to be long, painful and—how should I best put this—I suppose tortured would be the best word. Yes I like how that sounds.Don’t you?
I have to further admit that the internet is an amazing place. You can find all sorts of interesting folks. Heck, I found you, didn’t I?
So it came as not so much of a surprise when I came across a rather delightful site for murderers. It is quite a brilliant concept, if I am to be honest. It is also a very private group, as you might imagine. I had to answer all sorts of personal questions to be allowed to participate. I suppose they do not want any crazy people in their midst.
The group works on a remarkably simple premise, one that the delightful Hitchcock made into one of his finest movies. I am sure that you have guessed by now, haven’t you? Sure you have, people on the list swap murders.
Several days ago, an ex-girlfriend of mine, that one who almost sent me off the brink of insanity, apparently met an untimely and rather gruesome demise. I don’t know all thedeliciously gruesome details. However, I do understand that it was anything but quick… Oh, to have seen that look on her face when she realized. How priceless that would have been to have watch her squirm in agony for all those hours, makes me quite giddy with pleasure at the thought of it. Naturally, I was away on a business trip at the time, and I have dozens upon dozens of witnesses.
But I should not talk of that! Heavens, no… I am rather a chatterbox sometimes and that sort of defeats the point and purpose of me writing this.
Well, the truth of the matter is the very nice sweet person who committed that murder wanted someone in turn murdered. Well, you can plainly see that would only be fair. And whatever else people might say about me, not being fair is not one of them.
And, as that sweat beginning to bead on your forehead indicates, the person they wanted dead is you. I have no idea what you have done to anger them so, but I am sure that you know exactly what vile actions you carried out to motivate all of this.
I suspect that you want to get up and run now… maybe call the police?
Of course you do… But by now it is already too late!
HA! Got you!
Please understand that as you read this, the poison is already having an effect… The poison that I tipped the keyboard keys with. It is quite remarkable how it absorbs through the skin and slowly but convincingly starts to attack the nervous system!
Oh, and before you get any smart ideas, they will never be able to trace this message… I am far to smart for that. Your hard drive is about to be completely wiped out.
Ahh, yes… Computers are such a delightful thing.
Goodbye.
