Three Couples For Dinner…

Dear Bel Garion:

Recently, we invited three couples to dinner at 6:00 p.m. We worked hard cleaning the house and preparing a wonderful meal. My problem is this: one of the couples stayed until 2 a.m. They smelled of brimstone, and after eating the meal, I felt like I had to submit to their sexual desires. Afterwards, I was stiff, sore and tired.

How do I let them know, that while it was a pleasure to have them in our home for a meal, that staying for hours afterward, and making me have sex with them is much too much?
— Georgia

Dear Georgia:

Dinner guests invited for 6:00 p.m. should leave by 10:00 at the very latest, but apparently, they were having such a good time, they decided to stay for desert – a compliment to you, but a burden nonetheless.

A tactful way to end an evening after discovering your ‘friends’ are demons, is to stand up and say, “I can’t believe you smell of brimstone. Let’s never see each other again. Get ye back to hell. You filthy demons.” Then lead them to the door.

COMING NEXT: I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.

More Psycho Sermons

Saint Garion

Bel Garion, who also goes by the name Saint Garion started writing columns in our early years and continued to 2006. He often refers to "The Lord" and "Buddah" which are the names of his dogs which speak to him on a regular basis.

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