Dear Bel,
Every since I started on this new diet strange thing have been happening. All the flowers in my garden have dropped their petals, my co-workers all seem to have a new fascination with fire, and my wife has started closing herself in the bathroom with an open bottle of bleach. What is happening to me?
-Walter
Dear Walter,
Are you on one of those all protein diets or did you go vegetarian? Well you probably stink to high heaven. The demons in your stomach have died and have started to decompose. I had a demon in my stomach once, and boy did that hurt! It was kind of like my bowels were rubber bands and they had been pulled really tight. I had to have my neighbor’s wife come over and suck it out. The release was extraordinary. I suggest you do the same.
In Christian love,
-Bel
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