I have been living with “Eric” now for almost a year. When we first moved in together, it was great. We talked all the time and his friends were not too bad. It did take some time for me to be able to go out with them and feel included but then everything was fine. After we bought the computer, all he does all day is play on-line. Our friends are usually pretty good at pulling him off of the computer, but they can’t call ahead when they decide to come over, because he is on-line. I can’t get him off the computer for anything… Sometimes when I come home and he is on the computer he isn’t wearing anything, so I spend the night walking around the house half naked and his eyes never leave the computer. When I complain about the lack of attention, he tells me that I am whining. The only person he seems to want to hang around his buddy “Nick”, “Nick” is this fat old guy who likes to go to clubs and drool over women half his age. What should I do Bel?
It sounds like he is trying to avoid you. He may actually want to leave you but is delaying breaking with you until he can find a replacement, but I am not ready to assume the worst. He probably started hanging around “Nick” because he knows you will not want to go along. He may just need to have some time away from you to recharge.
What should you do? Well, you sound whiny so stop that immediately. Problem #1 seems to be the computer. Whining about how much he is on the computer will only drive him further into it. It provides him with an escape and will have to be eliminated before he will start to communicate again. Loose the telephone bill a couple of times, and blame him for not paying it (without whining). Then he will notice that you are not whining anymore and will want to spend time with you again. Then invite one of your girlfriends over and start making out on the couch while he is on the computer. If he does not react to that then he is not a man.
COMING NEXT: A Saint for every season!