Suffering of the Masses

by Garion,

Looks as if everyone’s going to be riding bikes for the foreseeable future. Gas is fucking insanely priced around here. People are killing each other at the pumps; greedy gas station owners are taking advantage of people’s fears, raising the prices higher and higher by the minute. I just came across town and saw the price go up and down during my 30 minute trip by $0.40.

Anyway, off I go to New Orleans to investigate humanity at its worst (or is that best?). Yes, I Saint Garion, am going to help with the rescue effort. I will embark out into the frenzy, fight someone for the right to buy gas, where prices and people are even worse than they are here, and the worm never dies.

“You should take this opportunity to spread the word,” the Lord suggested.

“Why the fuck do you think I am going.” I started to yell, “These godless bastards have got to learn that greed burns!!”

“All this fucking rioting, don’t these people fear God?” God just sort of pipes in, every now and then, he doesn’t really ask permission.

“What are you taking with you?” asked the lord while chewing away at his nylabone.

“Liquor, lots and lots of liquor.” I replied. “I’ll walk on water and give them liquor.”

“You could heal them…” God suggested, somewhat reluctantly.

The puppy who is the lord started to answer but I stopped him, “Life is suffering God, you made that clear when you allowed the Lord to die the first time he was here.”

“Right, so its drinks for everyone then?” asked God.

DRINKS FOR EVERYONE = HAPPY

Saint Garion

Bel Garion, who also goes by the name Saint Garion started writing columns in our early years and continued to 2006. He often refers to "The Lord" and "Buddah" which are the names of his dogs which speak to him on a regular basis.

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