Bastard F*ck Demon of the Storms

This weekend was supposed to have been a fucking camping weekend. The plan was that we would go and, well, chill the fuck out. No work, just sun, fishing, drinking, and maybe some naked frizz bee on the beach at night. Which really freaks out the Jesus freaks; the beach regulars and the old folks don’t seem to mind, at all, in fact if they see us out there they cheer. But it’s all gone horribly wrong. You see our camping destination just happens to be where that fucking tropical storm Arlene will make landfall… Reflecting upon who I invited camping, more precisely who cancelled right before the rest of the planet knew this storm was coming, I have realized that he is a demon, which is cool ‘cause he is still OK. He doesn’t vote fuck republican.

Garion: “So tell me bastard demon fuck of the storms that ruined the fuck weekend, what the fuck is up with the Supreme Court lately?” “I take it for granted that our fuck Republic, notice I didn’t say Democracy, has qualified Marijuana as having no fuck accepted medical use, and no fuck accepted safety for use in medically supervised treatment bla-bla-bullshit ‘cause it’s being fucking used in California in said fucking manner…”

Demon: “Well, republicans like making people suffer for being weak and they have this thing in their brains that makes them have to control others…”

Its golden shit responses like that that makes him OK in my book. It’s just that I won’t be inviting him camping again anytime soon. I’m not sure Florida could take it.

He also keeps me in touch with the pulse of the Republican Party of which he is not a part, but since he has ties with all that is evil, he understands. He insists that the republicans aren’t evil; they just shape their thoughts using the same symbols that the devil uses. So what?

Anyway, it turns out he’s coming up to visit after all, bringing the storm with him. Bastard. My girl friend was really excited about the trip, and his safety after he arrives is in question. We may have to sedate her with beer and food to calm her down. So what does a demon and a saint do when they get together? Well they play with the dog, team up making jokes about their women, (the women do the same to the men.) they play cards, dice, and play games like hide the Republican in the food compactor, its big fun.


Saint Garion

Bel Garion, who also goes by the name Saint Garion started writing columns in our early years and continued to 2006. He often refers to "The Lord" and "Buddah" which are the names of his dogs which speak to him on a regular basis.

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