Dear Bel,
You and I have been friends for a few years now… My wife is mad at me for using the computer to look at dirty pictures again. The other day when I stayed home sick from work, I looked at a few, just to pass the time. She came home and got on the computer to find the name of a site she had visited earlier that week, and found a long list of sites that I told her I didn’t visit anymore… What should I do Bel?
-Going Japanese
Dear Going,
I am afraid that you may have done some permanent damage to both her and your relationship. Your wife probably does not care as much about the porn as she does about you lying to her. She also has self-confidence issues that you have aggravated, but I will not go into that right now. Your relationship will fail if you continue to be dishonest with your wife. Besides, you are a goddam white trash maintenance man and in my opinion, your wife deserves better. In fact, I remember telling her not to marry your lame ass.
So anyway, I think there is a little demon somewhere in my house. I keep finding dead cockroaches and mice displayed in conspicuous areas. It’s like having an invisible sadistic cat who is smart enough to display something that its killed to warn the other little critters away. Can you come over later this week and help me hunt this thing down?
-Bel
COMING NEXT: Walk right out!
