The Salsa – That Binds

I went out last night with some new friends and drank enough alcohol to kill a large tree. This is my account of what happened, as I now remember it. And yes, lesbian passion will explode.

We went out to a Tex-Mex restaurant, and drank about 11-12 beers a piece. I had to check the receipt; I don’t really remember drinking that many beers. We were sitting on the restaurant patio, scaring the people around us with our talk of the salsa-that-binds, the all binding power of the collective unconsciousness, and remote viewing. Remote viewing, that’s the fun bit. What else are we supposed to talk about, work?

The Chinese guy behind us thought it was funny so every time I got up to use the bathroom, I’d hit him with my chair, accidentally, each time a little bit harder, until finally he got pissed-off and left. Then the blond started kissing the red head on the deck… She had a rose tattoo on one of her breasts; I think it was the right breast.

We went to a bar under a porn shop, it’s a nice bar. There is always a diverse (and at times gritty) crowd and the building itself is a shit hole, but that’s what makes a good bar right? There we shot pool and drank more beer. And by more beer I mean 10 pitchers. Why the fuck do lesbians leave their sneakers on while they have sex? Explain it to me because I can’t figure it out.

So we drank until it was almost 2am, we all played pretty well. A friend of mine called. Newly separated from his gal he wanted to know if there were any hot chicks there. I explained that there were two attractive short lesbian brunettes playing at the table next to ours, and that there was yet another good looking brunette playing at another table by ours who didn’t look very happy with her date. I wasn’t being untruthful; I just focused on the brunettes because I know that is what he likes.

Since I spoke of only three women, he neglected to show. And he wasn’t interested in talking about the great big dish of salsa-that-binds, but I told him about it anyway. He didn’t believe that I knew the girls at the table next to us were going to double team some guy tonight just to try it out.

Although I bet it’s bothering him this morning. Some part of him suspects that the salsa-that-binds is real, because last night he dreamed about those girls jumpin some dude he has never seen before. I told him that it will fuck with him if he ever runs into and recognizes any of the three from his “dream” in the grocery store. He agreed.

At some point I bought a porn video, 4 hours of continuous play of young girls who love girls. I am of course quite pleased with my purchase. I think I watched it with my girlfriend after we got back from eating hamburgers this morning, but I don’t really remember.

I do remember waking at 6am, falling down the stairs outside my apartment, into a tree. I remember the tree holding me gently like a mother would, while I emptied my stomach into its root system. The tree is not dead, but I can tell it’s angry with me. The salsa-that-binds told me.

Saint Garion

Bel Garion, who also goes by the name Saint Garion started writing columns in our early years and continued to 2006. He often refers to "The Lord" and "Buddah" which are the names of his dogs which speak to him on a regular basis.

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